The 15

I’m going to make so much money with all my free online bets when the sites and apps go live. Suckers! Ka-ching!

“That should have been me!” Chris Sale on Justin Turner’s injury, probably.

NYJ Owner Woody Johnson’s name literally means “an erection.”

Three losses in a row can never just be three losses; they have to be due to an overarching systemic malaise that will doom the team if it happens come playoff time.

Let Merrimack play in the Tourney, Charlie Baker!

You will know things are really bad on the Ja Morant front when they start using his given name.

World Baseball Classic Fever! Catch it! Unless you’re immunocompromised, I guess.

Just wait until whoever the Boston Globe sports editor is discovers another way to take a swipe at the Krafts is by warning the Bruins not to wind up like the 2021 Supporters’ Shield-earning New England Revolution.

Cakes are cooking for Micky Dolenz ,Randy Meisner, Jim Rice, Karl Schnabl, Gary Numan, Buck Williams, Andrea Parker, Jason Elam, Georgios Georgiadis, Hines Ward, James Van Der Beek, Mark Worrell, Milana Vayntrub, and Petra Kvitová.

The way a lot of the media in this town went from shitting on Matt Patricia at every turn to blaming the Patriots for his failures is just tremendous.

It’s said that no one needs a Twitter vacation more than the man just coming back from one.

Aloha means ‘goodbye.’ Michael Palardy, aloha.

Please board all Framingham/Worcester Line trains on the outbound platform (Track 1) at Wellesley Farms through West Natick until further notice today.

It’s crazy that Buddy Holly was only 22 when he died. I think he would’ve been amongst the best musicians ever had he not died so young.

Hey gang of bivalve fanciers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The world is your winter oyster.”

Lamar Jackson wouldn’t play through pain on his rookie contract. Imagine what it would be like after you give him over $100 million guaranteed? If that’s collusion, then…

News Item: Divorced Dad Buys Pet to Entice Kids to Visit.

Anybody else remember when they used to sell cat food in little single-serving glass jars? Hard to imagine that today. The glass jars would cost twice as much as the cat food.

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

The Cowboys have placed the franchise tag on RB Tony Pollard, per source. That means TE Dalton Schultz will hit free agency, after being tagged last year. Pollard’s tag is at $10.1 million.

UMass Mens Basketball played like the .500 team they were in the A10 Tournament. Unfortunately.

Andy Wong just likes having his picture taken!

Congratulations to Mike Reiss for earning a spot in The Framingham High Hall of Fame. If he had written about the Steelers, Mike would probably have been in on the first ballot.

Chosen Anderson? Guess not!

Here in my car
I feel safest of all.
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live in cars.

Here in my car
I can only receive.
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days in cars.

So Gorillaz aren’t actually a real band? Like the Monkees? What, what just happened?

Honk if you remember Chaminade versus Virginia.

You watch out, the Rangers are loaded once they have enough players for a whole team!

I saw Jon Lester at the Target Starbucks one year.

Not sure Pau Gasol gets his jersey retired at this moment in time absent Kobe Bryant’s offhand statement that Pau’s jersey should be next to his in the Staples Center rafters.

Daniel Jones with a guaranteed 820,000,000 dimes! Crazy!

Drive over more hotpatch on the road! I can’t!

Spring Training Boston Red Sox are in the rarified territory usually associated with the Baltimore Ravens.

You can’t shout your way out of being wrong, Perk.

Are YOU ready to save daylight?

Best bet for the weekend: Bruins go a month between losses.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Mitch Hedberg, Bill James, BSMW posters Laszlo Panaflex and Kingasaurus, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. So put me on a highway. Show me a sign. Take it to the limit; One more time.