02/01/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

The BetMGM Sportsbook & Lounge at MGM Springfield offers a state-of-the-art gameday experience.

Wicked excited that in-person legalized sports betting has finally arrive in Massachusetts. And will be even more so when all the betting apps are good to go as scheduled in time for the March Madness Tournament. What? Why the laughing?

The Clover Cabal runs the Association.

Hoping the NFL does something during the Super Bowl promoting AED and CPR.

Red Sox traded Barnes for Bleier? More like Blehhhh!

Maybe a group hug session with the devastated NBA officials is in order for Joseph Ossai.

So Joansie had an opportunity to reinvent himself as something more than cut-rate Felger impressionist and decided against doing so.

Cakes are cooking for Princess Stéphanie of Monaco, Michelle Akers, Tim Naehring, Mark Recchi, Gabriel Batistuta, Patrick Wilson, Michael C. Hall, Ron Welty, Geoff Sanderson, Big Boi, Phil Ivey, Jason Isbell, Lauren Conrad, and Rhonda Rousey.

Do the participants in the East-West Shrine Bowl get one of those cool blankets?

Travis Kelce’s blaccent rivals Scalabrine’s.

Family Guy is where Seth MacFarlane put all his bad opinions and American Dad is where he puts all his good opinions.

Bobby Hull, he was set in his ways. Rest now, old timer.

And Billy Packer finally died, too.

But UConn Men’s basketball is not dead. At all.

It’s 2023 and 60-year-old guys trailing 10 yards behind the play are still spotting the ball.

The Celtics miss Marcus Smart in the lineup. There, I said it.

Do you ever just get the song from that TV ad for Milton Bradley’s ‘Perfection’ game stuck in your head? Yeah, me neither.

Romo was going to say, ‘you got three nuh-ice young men.’

Fun fact: Tom Cruise has never won an Oscar.

The NFL Professional Bowl…now with even more of the insufferable Manning family over more days!

Hey Audacy fix your app make it better ..it’s like toilet paper

The real question about any hitter is “How many games did he win for his team, with his bat?”

The Patriots have signed WR Lynn Bowden Jr. to a reserve/future deal for 2023. He spent 2022 on their practice squad.

I didn’t see any ‘Detective Chimp’ project in James Gunn’s initial ten planned DCEU announcement. Sad.

News Item: Channel 4 tests a 6PM newscast without a sports report. In deference to longtime sports director Steve Burton, he will not be told of the move. WBZ will have the amiable anchor deliver a “report” at his usual 6:20 slot in a different studio that will not air.

Gene Krupa lived long enough to witness Upton Bell’s dismal stint as the GM for the New England Patriots.

Hey gang of security risks, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Stop at Top flop bop.” I’m serious!

Pats should name Kelly Clarkson O-line coach.

What one thing are you looking forward to during the baseball season that isn’t the actual game? Me? Can’t wait to hear Jonny Miller ask the tough questions.

You thought God was an architect, now you know,
He’s sitting in a black car ready to go;
You make some new friends after the show,
But you’ll forget their names,
In 24 frames.

I miss seeing JB’s weird hairline in the comfort of the studio. Why do these dopes have to be sitting at a desk on the field? What’s the benefit for me, the viewer?

Honk if you remember the Milton Bradley game Perfection.

Man, you hop on the exercise bike for a half-hour and everybody decides it’s time to hire a coach.

Rose in Titanic was a selfish jerk for dropping the Heart of the Ocean into the ocean…she could have sold it and helped feed millions of starving kids’s

Dee. Meco. Ryans.

If a “Rules Analyst’ is a key component of your sport’s broadcast team and people still don’t understand what the rules are, guess what? Your sport sucks.

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.

Oooh, everyone is suddenly an expert on the topography & geography of 10 miles west of Boston! Nerds.

Sean Payton: from below sea level to mile high. Pretty neat.

Evan Lazar is also no longer a free agent?

Tom Brady retired? Heard that before. Fool me once, etcetera.

Keep your eyes peeled for multisport expert Mike Loyko at the Encore Boston Harbor Sportsbook.

LeBron’s performative tantrum would have barely been an acceptable response to finding out Kobe’s helicopter tried to take a shortcut through a mountain.

Um … why would you steal an airbag?

Well I think it’s sweet that Paul Giamatti is memorializing his friend Coolio by saying ‘yes’ to every acting gig and appearance that is offered to him.

Give it up for Hatchet Man Bob Hohler everybody!

Best bet for the weekend: You can attend a free screening of Bull Durham at Polar Park, home of the Triple-A Woosox, in Worcester this Friday (2/3). Doors open at 6 PM. (It’s indoors, don’t worry)

“Lisa? Dave? Paula? Anyone? A little help here?”

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesMitch Hedberg, Bill James, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Hold your devil by his spoke and spin him to the ground.

And Happy Birthday to British singer-songwriter Laura Marling.
(By Bryan Ledgard – https://www.flickr.com/photos/ledgard/6001942672/, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=58249309)

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