01/11/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Glad to see Damar Hamlin is doing better and, hey; where’s the machine that goes ‘Ping?’It’s a fake!!

Why won’t someone force Bill to stop being mean to those blameless local media types?

I don’t think the Globe is going to need a slimy hit piece to justify the exiling of the absolutely dreadful Tony Massarotti from the game broadcast. But maybe they can give us one just for fun?

Cohasset fella should’ve Google searched “how not to kill and dismember anyone including my sweet wife.”

Of course a horned frog had no chance against a bulldog. That’s just nature.

Ian Rappaport tweets announcing firings including a picture of the guy really makes me believe he’s not a spectrum-y robot.

Pasta. No longer just A Good Kid, he’s The Great Kid.

Cakes are cooking for Madeline Manning-Mimms, Ben Crenshaw, Normand Léveillé, Tracy Caulkins, Mary J. Blige, Rory Fitzpatrick, Kazuki Nakajima, and Danuta Kozák.

What’s higher, Alexandra Eckersley or Derrick White’s hairline?

It’ll never not be funny that a group of nominal adults with journalism degrees came up with “Media Good Guy” as a name for an award.

This is what happens when you trust Rodgers in a must-win game.

I just love how defensive the 98.5 cult gets of people who talk shit behind microphones all day. Irony is dead

Wickersham was ready to crown McVay the greatest ever.

Adam Rich was just turning his life around.

Quinnipiac U. Known for political polling, and right now, for leading the Mens College Hockey Rankings.

Is the awesome ping-pong table back in the Dolphins clubhouse yet?

Please board all Fitchburg Line trains on the outbound platform (Track 1) at Brandeis/Roberts today.

You don’t often see tits out like that at an airport Red Robin.

Willie Davis? Criminally underrated. Among the most underrated players ever.

Hey gang of incoherent sports fan cosplayers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “ones a company, twos a party in the penalty box!”

Maybe another year in the system is what Agholor needs?

The hero is exposed when
His crimes are brought to the light of day
Won’t be feelin’ sorry, sorry, sorry
On the judgement day
It wasn’t me who said
There’ll be a price to pay
And i won’t feel bad at all
When the hero takes a fall
When the hero takes a fall
(Hero takes a fall) oh no

Acknowledging the subtweeting is the best way to prove you’re not a rabbit-eared weirdo desperate for engagement.

Stetson Bennett is receiving AARP mailers for cripes sakes.

Baseball taught me needing help in the last week of the season to make the playoffs never works. Looking at you, Orioles.

I just want the new governor to follow tradition and wear the fleece vest when she’s in the MEMA bunker during weather emergencies.

It’s a good thing for the Red Sox that Rafael Devers is still just a baby and therefore doesn’t fully understand the concept of money or he could have asked for an even larger contract extension than the 313.5 million one.

First, you get the coaching. Then you get the executing. Then you get the owning.

I heard that if you play the 2022 Buffalo Bills Highlight Video backwards, it says “Damar is dead, miss him, miss him!”

Trev Story on the shelf for a while? Move Dalbec to the middle infield. All fix!

There is not a single moment in life that causes me as much stress as trying to drive on to the conveyor belt at the automatic car wash.

I think it’s great that you got a word-a-day calendar for Christmas.

I’m hearing that Brogdon hasn’t even packed yet!

Rams OC Liam Coen has now officially returned to Kentucky to reassume its offensive coordinator position with the NFL season over. While Sean McVay’s decision awaits, LA will certainly need a new OC.

Honk if you remember The Channel.

PC Friars ride a nine-game win streak into being ranked 19th in Associated Press Mens BB Poll.

A fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt? Now I’ve seen everything!

When are the Brockton Rox going to make Carlos Correa an offer?

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

What are the odds that Goodell hasn’t already booked the Buffalo trainers/first responders as his Draft Day human boo shields for April?

It should be more socially acceptable to tell people they aren’t attractive.

Bill Campbell, taken from us too soon. His nickname was ‘Soup.’ RIP.

All toads are frogs. But not all frogs are toads.

Best bet for the weekend: trust-funders being triggered by ‘Super Wild Card Weekend.’

I hope Coach Achord has a family he can choose to spend more time with in the near-future.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesMitch Hedberg, Bill James, BSMW poster Blinded by the Lombardis, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. I’d say her values are corrupted but she’s open to change.

And Happy Birthday to actress Amanda Peet.

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