01/04/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Commotia cortis? I don’t think so. Let’s just say out loud what everyone is thinking: it was the Qatari government.
If you go to the Winter Classic, but don’t tell everyone you went to the Winter Classic, did you actually go?
The Red Sox and Devers agreed on a contract! All fix!
The last time the Bruins played a Winter Classic at Fenway, Avatar was the number one movie in the world. The more things change, the more they stay the same!
Connecticut Huskies visit Amica Mutual Pavillion to take on the Providence College Friars. Should be good.
RIP Dick Flavin, Red Sox poet laureate. Like his poems, he goes on.
Has Coach Mazzulla already lost his team, caller?
Cakes are cooking for Cory Everson, April Winchell, Michael Stipe, Joe Kleine, Guy Forget, Deana Carter, David Toms, Garrison Hearst, Ted Lilly, Al Jefferson, Katie Crutchfield, and Derrick Henry.
It will always be the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl to me.
Who said Spida?
BBWAA Hall of Fame Ballot SZN.
The TCU Horned Frog? Actually, it’s a lizard. But not to be confused with the similar Texas spiny lizard.
Not sure why, but I had a very vivid dream last night that Mike Vrabel was coaching the Patriots. Bill Belichick was also standing on the sidelines for some reason, Lamar Jackson was at QB and they were lighting up the Jets. No more late-night gin & tonics for this guy, I think.
Bob Kraft sure loves touching dudes.
Hey babe gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You both wish you were me.”
I love being reminded that professional athletes are people.
Michigan and Ohio State both losing was a good way to end 2022.
Green Line and Orange Line Reminder: Service will be bypassing Haymarket station in both directions the weekends of Jan 7 – 8 & 21 – 22 to allow for work on the Government Center Garage demolition project.
Tom Cuddy > ‘Major Tuddy.’
Thoughts & prayers to fantasy football squads with Bills and Bengals players, and also their league Commissioners.
The Mount Washington Auto Road helps to make relationships stronger.
Maybe execute your rehab exercises better?
I mean, say what you will about the pictures, but Tom Brady’s kid does have prettier feet than Meghan Ottolini.
Vikings standout OT Brian O’Neill, who was placed on Injured Reserve yesterday, suffered a partially torn Achilles last week, sources say. He’s out for 2022 and the playoffs and is on the road to recovery.
Paprika!
Should Patriots Do the Right Thing and Forfeit to Honor Hamlin? – The Baseball Paper, probably.
What’s your favorite example of Alpering?
Troy Vincent says they never talked about resuming the game, but of course, Troy Vincent is a fucking liar.
When I was young I was free to go
I didn’t need nobody
I just traveled alone
I packed up a few things and slip off into the night
Cause everywhere I go
These days my baby drives.
Has anyone theorized yet that this was an elaborate ruse to get people to contribute to his underperforming charity?
Knock-Knock. ‘Who’s there?’ Jay Mariotti. ‘Jay Mariotti who?’ EXACTLY.
Watching the ‘spergiest members of NFL media trial and error their way toward an approximation of a normal emotional response to this incident is breathtaking.
Honk if you remember auld acquaintances.
‘Blunt force trauma to the chest can’t induce a heart attack’ is the new “fire can’t melt steel.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene has the skin of a 70-year-old.
Upton Bell seems eternally miffed that he’s not treated like the John Quincy Adams of the NFL, but more like the Fester Addams.
Why couldn’t Stink have been on the MNF crew with Booger?
That field goal attempt at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve sure was something.
People finally finding out about Kennedy Stihdsy. The15, first again.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Well, I found the baseball uniforms charming. I did!
Interesting that Mina has no tweets about human Swiss Army knife Kyle Dugger from draft day or pre -2022. Hmmm.
No matter how much you know about baseball, you don’t have any clear idea who will have a good year next year. Which is very comforting if you’re a Red Sox fan.
Best bet for the weekend: continued prayers for Damar Hamlin.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Steven Wright, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. And the lilacs drank the water.
