12/07/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Battleship USS Arizona baseball team, circa 1925. Photo: University of Arizona Special Collections

Finding out today that another home-grown Boston Red Sox player wouldn’t re-sign with the team would be the worst thing to ever happen on December 7th.

Remember, Team USA is young. Keep telling yourself that.

If only Ben Volin had reason not to be so trusting about what to click on in his Twitter DM’s. Sad.

Now Bruce Cassidy can stop crying himself to sleep. Probably.

Xander? X-Man? Xan? Bogie? Big X? Xanderino?

Regarding PFF’s layoffs: I haven’t seen so many grinders go down at once since Joe Murray’s last visit to the North End.

Oh well, if Alabama’s losses were on the last play then they’re really undefeated.

That was Boston’s 8th straight win vs. Brooklyn? If it gets to 10 then Brooklyn has to give Gang Starr back…

Cakes are cooking for Johnny Bench, Susan Collins, Larry Bird, Peter Laviolette, C. Thomas Howell, Terrell Owens, Shiri Appleby, Sara Bareilles, and John Terry.

I’m hearing whispers that Eastern Standard will return in 2023.

I love how the music stations around here insist on covering sports.  If I wanted to hear the opinion of someone who doesn’t understand football I would turn on the sports radio station.

Maybe Jon Heyman thinks it’s funny to mock what an Arson Judge does just past the anniversary of that terrible Worcester fire, but I don’t find if very funny.

Patricia doesn’t know what he’s doing! Admit it! Admit it!

Please board Fitchburg Line Train 416 (1:09 pm from Littleton/Route 495) on the outbound platform (Track 1) at West Concord and Concord today.

Kenley? That’s a girl’s name.

Hey gang of final countdowners, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Splash the Zeros.”

Frank Martin seems legit.

A major change for the Bills: Coach Sean McDermott announces that Von Miller did have exploratory surgery yesterday and they ended up repairing his ACL. He’s out for the season.

Steps for a successful marriage: 1 – don’t fuck your black coworker.

Well, he gave her a dimestore watch
And a ring made from a spoon
Everyone is looking for someone to blame
But you share my bed, you share my name
Well, go ahead and call the cops
You don’t meet nice girls in coffee shops
She said baby, I still love you
Sometimes there’s nothin’ left to do

Oh you got to
Hold On, Hold On
Baby got to Hold On
Take my hand, I’m standing right here,
You got to Hold On.

Kenley Jansen and Xander Bogaerts grew up on neighboring islands (Curaçao and Aruba). Jansen speaks 5 languages, Bogaerts 4. They’re two of the only players in the league who speak Papiamento. Both represented the Netherlands in the 2017 WBC.

Is Florida State in Colorado? Like one of those Miami of Ohio situations?

Goodbye to Krystie Alley!

Penalty kicks. The great un-equalizer.

Just saw Drew Brees’ face. Lighting strikes are no joke! Wait, what?

A new Red Sox ownership group would tear out Linda’s rooftop gardens. We can’t let that happen.

Every time I hear ‘Yodny Cajuste’ I think he should be the Blue Jays 4th outfielder from 2002.

Value of Judge No. 62 home run ball being auctioned just went up. Being a lifetime Yankee makes it more valuable.

Honk if you remember when Shea was in the minors.

These World Cup wins has Portugal ready to party like its 1499!

Top Gun can’t be gay; Kelly McGillis is in it.

The Los Angeles/California/Anaheim Angels have now been a part of the American League for more than one-half of the league’s history. They are the only expansion franchise that can make that claim. There will not be another for at least 14 years.

The eventual fate of the Pearl Harbor raid participant cruiser IJN Tone could have been written by O Henry.

Wasabi Fenway Bowl fever grips Hub.

What exactly did Nia think the C’s could do about Ime? Say nothing?

Jimmy G thinks AD is always hurt but never injured.

I’m pretty sure if we had a De’vante Bausby I’d remember that.

MLB contracts are getting into crazy number of years! There: I said it.

Best bet for the weekend: Arizona sunshine disinfects the Patriots offensive woes.

A Happy Birthday to Australian actress Emily Browning.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Barrelling down the boulevard. You’re looking for the heart of Saturday night.

And Happy Birthday to Priscilla Barnes. But not Joann Witty.

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