11/09/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

2022 World Series winning Houston Astros players hoist the MLB Commissioner’s Trophy, one of the most recognizable in all of sports. – Adam Jones

Congratulations Astros. They should lean into the ‘cheater’ black hat team persona. Maybe get Lance Armstrong to throw out the first pitch next season.

The throwback Bruins sweaters evoke feelings of nostalgia.

Philadelphia is going to be heartbroken again when they eventually learn they also lost the MLS Championship thing.

Give Mac access during the bye week to the 3rd down plays out of the Zappe playbook Bill!

Boston 1 Woston 0.

Aaron Carter is clearly retaliation for Takeoff.

That Miller signing was an own goal off your dick, Bruins.

Bills 0-2 in the tomato can AFCE division?

Cakes are cooking for Lou Ferrigno, Todd Gill, Bill Guerin, Chris Jericho, Susan Tedeschi, David Duval, Jimmy Hitchcock, Sisqó, and Adam Dunn.

Give me Matthew McConaughey press conferences all fucking day.

Can’t find a recipe (which tells me it’s a bad idea) – what happens if I mix up a negroni and put it in an ISI Siphon?

All the biggest media personalities walk home.

“The Colts signed Jeff Saturday to be their head coach? That’s bananas.” – Aaron Boone


I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man! I don’t know how I get away with it.

BROGDON should always be capitalized, in the way WARRIOR Ice Arena is.

Does Big Jim’s phone receive election information too?

Red Sox decline James Paxton’s option. He got paid $10 million to throw as many pitches as I did. Hot stove!!

Commuter Rail Fairmount Line Weekend Diversion – On the weekend of November 19th and 20th, buses will replace regular train service between Readville & South Station to allow for work on a switch replacement project.

No, baby, I said “terrible punt”.

Chaim Bloom said Oct. 6 that Xander Bogaerts is the Red Sox’s No. 1 priority. But the team also is preparing a Plan B in case he leaves.

Why is Dan Orlovsky wearing Sir Elton John’s glasses?

I want whoever came up with that awful Car Shield commercial with Ric Flair to go to jail.

You can tell it’s the Standard Time because it lasts almost half the year.

Pierre Nightmare! Sacre bleu!

Hey Space City gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ‘Handle your liquor, stinkman.”

News Item: Russians to send convicted WNBA star Britney Griner to an undisclosed penal colony. I didn’t think Griner even likes penals?

I never had a damn thing, but what I had
I had to leave it behind
You’re the hardest thing
I ever tried to get off my mind
Always something greener on the other side of that hill
I was born a wrangler and a rounder
And I guess I always will.

Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Can’t be wrong.

My mother went to the doctor today. She brought the doc a can of tuna from Spain with a little bow. If my mom gives you a can of tuna from Spain, she really likes you.

“I’m happy for Dusty Baker.” For why?

Say ‘quartile’ more.

Honk if you remember ‘Sing Along With Mitch’.

I think I might apply to be the Colts running backs coach or something, seems like they just glance at resumes, give you your key card and tell you where the cafeteria is.

The Worcester Railers are 9-0-0. The have the momentum of a, oh, you know.

Coogler did it again, didn’t he?!

Grow up. Tom Brady is not coming back to play for New England.

Pulled Pork Taco? #SignMeUp

Robert Francis “‘Beto” O’Rourke seems like he’d be easier to vote for than 90% of our options, but his career is going nowhere as long as he is working Texas. It’s like taking the fastest greyhound in the world and entering him in the Kentucky Derby. Greyhounds just don’t beat horses at that distance.

Zach Braff looks like he was dipped in wax.

I hope before his term as Governor is done, Charlie Baker gets in on the act and sends a planeload of Irish bartenders that overstayed their work visas to Colorado or somewhere.

Connecticut’s Own Joey Logano. Penske material, and now a two-time NASCAR Cup Series Champion.

Would the Colts bringing in Ime for an interview satisfy the Rooney Rule?

Peter McNab. Gone too soon. Rest in peace.

Best bet for the weekend: Germans depressed that Gisele will not be there for the Bucs/Seahawks game in Munich.

The only Mitch Miller we will tolerate. Barely.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Mitch Hedberg, Bill James, BSMW poster Laszlo Panaflex and Lebron, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Change your life, bro.

And a Bon Anniversaire to Canadian snowboarder Dominique Maltais.

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