11/02/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
News Item: Red Sox graciously allow other AL squads to win Golden Glove Awards. Again.
This Bruins team is showing signs of being special, even more special than Charlie Jacobs’ most special mare.
If you are denigrating an in-Conference win at an opposing stadium, that’s on you, reader!
Short Story: The Nets see a mattress on the curb with INFESTED WITH BEDBUGS spray painted on it: “Hmm, what’s the catch?” And local (+ Sactown) area dummies, watching the Nets appraise the mattress: “Go outside and tell them that will cost them $100!’
‘Snowy Ramble’ is an anagram for Wosny Lambre.
Mull on that.
I hope World Series Game Seven won’t conflict with the Thanksgiving Day NFL games. First to the joke!
Bring more leftover Halloween candy into the office.
Cakes are cooking for Ken Rosewall, Dave Stockton, Stefanie Powers, Alan Jones, Jason Smith, Orlando Cabrera (allegedly), Roddy White, and Danny Cipriani.
I was hoping Nets assistant Schlomo Finklestein would be given a chance take over as interim HC for the fired Steve Nash.
Don’t blame me because you don’t understand what you said.
Change your life, bro.
Mattapan Trolley Update: Regular service is operating this morning.
A great god-nephew sounds like a real thing.
I hope the Red Sox weren’t hoping against hope that Chris Sale would opt out of receiving 55 million dollars.
Takeoff just wanted his flowers. And now he’ll get them. Sad.
An anagram for Wosny Lambre is ‘Womanly Serb.’
Hey gang of affiliated podbros, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The answer is literally in the pudding.”
Do you remember that day (that sunny day)
When you first came my way?
I said no one could take your place
And if you get hurt (if you get hurt)
By the little things I say
I can put that smile back on your face
Ooh, and it’s alright and it’s coming along
We gotta get right back to where we started from.
It has been a tumultuous time for the Colts offense, as they benched QB Matt Ryan and now fired OC Marcus Brady. They are 3-4-1 with a chance to hit a stride. A lot on coach Frank Reich’s plate now.
Can Dov Kleiman swing a monthly charge for his bluecheck?
To be fair, it’s not surprising an electrician doesn’t understand what ‘gaslighting’ is.
Sometimes flea flickers have such down bad energy.
Pro Tip: A perfectly delivered ‘well said’ is sure to spice up your marriage!
Hypocrisy is, after all, the homage vice pays to virtue.
Christian McCaffrey’s 49ers locker is in between George Kittle’s and Charvarius Ward’s and right across from Jimmy Garoppolo’s.
All the F bombs mixed in with the annoying lisps make them sound extra tough.
Don’t believe Mac Jones was actually sacked, sheeple! He was inviting Lawson into the backfield for a gay tryst and fell down! Look at the evidence!
‘Many Bowlers’ is an anagram for Wosny Lambre.
I’ve found one positive change on Twitter so far; I can now share beheading videos.
Yesterday I passed a tow truck and the poor driver was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought, “He’s headed for a breakdown.”
I keep wanting to call all the Michaela’s at work, ‘Michelle’, because that’s what they would have been named had they been born when I was.
Honk if you remember Tom Thacker.
Attention all philosophy professors: from now on, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel is to be known as Georg WTF Hegel. You’re welcome.
Lot of experts on how to break windows with hammers out here.
I once told a parent who was upset that I didn’t plan on giving his kids any candy that I did not celebrate pagan rituals in my house. First thing out of his mouth, in front of his kids? “Fuck you.” I bet he voted for Trump.
Hampsy? If so; HAMPSY!!
Why all the yellow seats, John Henry?
Nothing like the ripe smell of porta potties to wake you up in the morning.
Yo ho, yo ho; a pirate’s life for me.
I’m sure Kyrie also knows this great documentary about how men are falsely accused of misbehavior by women all the time.
Wosny Lambre may be a bad person.
Best bet for the weekend: one last batch of Maggie Hassan ads, pro and con.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster Miserable Fellow, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Come on and lead me on. Come on and tease me all night long. Loving you, I know it’s right, I’ll always need you, I’ll never leave you.