08/17/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

James White. Thank you for all you did as a New England Patriot.

Yeah, I’m sure Bill fucking Belichick is a couple weeks into training camp and has no plan for his offense. Just making it up as he goes. Planning every detail meticulously for the last 50 years must have been exhausting. He deserves to go out there and just sling it for a change.

Your last-place (for now) Boston Red Sox finally won a series against an AL East Division foe!

Zolak shouldn’t use binoculars, they should give him a telescope.

NESN has a ‘Sun in 2’ WNBA rebroadcast?

Have all the Twitter injury docs deleted their accounts after the Zach Wilson misdiagnosis fiasco? And if no; why not?

No city loves its sports talk like Boston, and no city tunes it out like Los Angeles. Advantage: LA.

They also don’t drive Chevy Caprices or Dodge Polaras anymore Jill.

Good luck Middleborough Little Leaguers.

Cakes are cooking for Robert De Niro, Guillermo Villas, Robin Cousins, Jon Gruden, Dottie Pepper, Don Sweeney, Ed McCaffrey, Christian Laettner, Donnie Wahlberg, Thierry Henry, Dustin Pedroia, Dee Brown (the other one), and Lil Pump.

Lil’Jordan is not lil’. I think his parents made a dubious assumption.

Dondero is probably wondering when Sir Elton will write a song memorializing his sister, Olivia Newton.

Revs maneuvering to move up in the standings with a match tonight after a 1-0 win on Saturday.

From no weapons to WR7, WR8, and WR9 having to sit on milk crates in the WR Room!

Shukri is going to beat Dondy to a full time gig. Sad.

NBA twitter doesn’t know what “grandfathered” means. More’s the pity.

Sharing shellfish is essentially an adoption ceremony.

Jimmy G wasn’t ghosting you. He was fucking fat porn stars.

Red Line Ashmont Branch Update: Going Great!

I’m sure I am not the first one to notice this, but. . . with Springer out, the Blue Jays have picked up Jackie Bradley Jr. and Whit Merrifield to play center. Those two are best friends. They were teammates at South Carolina, have stayed close. It reminds me of that time in the 1930s when some team, I think it was the Tigers, platooned Gee Walker–with his brother, Hub Walker.

Is ‘Chip’ from My Three Sons calling in to the Rich Kimball show this week?

Hey gang of spotty potatoes, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ” And in the end, should Michelle game take a backseat to being able to execute well?”

Nobody pays for Peacock, babe.

Is it really surprising that the people who are sure to put SENIOR writer in their Twitter bio are preoccupied with titles?

Chargers S Derwin James, who had been holding in and now will practice, gets a massive deal. 4 years, $76.532M in new money as the highest paid safety. The $29M in year 1 is also a record. The two sides had been close for a few days, just closed the gap.

On the night of The Undertaker’s debut we also bore witness one of wrestling’s worst moments..the Gobbledy Gooker.

They eat innings! They do!

“Mac” is one more character than ‘10’.

Of course “Honky Tonk Part II” belongs on the Sirius XM 50s channel, not 60s Gold. But it remains my fave all-time Rock ‘n Roll instrumental, regardless.

It’s definitely everybody else’s fault but Ronaldo’s.

There are more Joneses in the Pats secondary than in a gentrified Chinatown phone book!

Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen
I might be a little young
But honey I ain’t naive.

Hey @MBTA you what would be great? In the middle of summer having working A/C on the Red Line train instead of having passengers sweating profusely.

Tom Brady is never going to win Buccaneers Practice Player of the Week at this pace.

“Seek Asylum” lmao ..

Honk if you remember Rubby De La Rosa.

It’s incredible what they were able to do with Tomase’s hair for the viewing.

I’m old enough to remember Todd Collins not hitting Kordell Stewart on the sidelines costing the Pats a playoff game in PIT. So don’t be a puss, Chris McCaffrey.

Best bet for the weekend: A German not winning the BMW Open down at the Wilmington CC.

“Is that my birthday cake in theah? IS THAT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE IN THEAH?!” HBD you delightful lunatic.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesBill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away. Vacation, meant to be spent alone.

And also happy birthday to Go-Go’s vocalist and solo artist Belinda Carlisle.

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