08/10/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Richard. Vershaun. Seymour. Hall. Of. Fame.

‘If you didn’t know better, you’d think the Jets sent Bill Belichick north to destroy the Patriots from within. On a day when they could have had impact players David Terrell or Koren Robinson or the second-best tackle in the draft in Kenyatta Walker, they took Georgia defensive tackle Richard Seymour, who had 1 sack last season in the pass-happy SEC and is too tall to play tackle at 6-6 and too slow to play defensive end. This genius move was followed by trading out of a spot where they could have gotten the last decent receiver in Robert Ferguson and settled for tackle Matt Light, who will not help any time soon unless last year’s draftees Adrian Klemm and Greg Robinson-Randle are busts.’

Looks like Britney Griner has a new 10 year-zero rubles deal with Russia.

Pleased to see the Revs scoring goals once again.

It’s a good thing Chris Sale is getting 145 million dollars from the Red Sox because he should not ever buy a lottery ticket.

DMT is produced naturally in your body. You can do breathing exercises to have it released.

Bergy. Krejci. Back. Now let’s get Middleton and Park signed and win some games!

Cakes are cooking for Tugboat (Fred Ottman), Rosanna Arquette, Jon Farriss, Riddick Bowe, Michael Bivins, Sal Fasano, and Kylie Jenner.

Who in 2022 is shocked to discover Pete Rose is still a sociopath?

790 The Score? It’s back.

Hearing whispers Serena Williams plans to join Coach Scar in retirement.

Eck and his lunatic patois to go bridge at end of season.

Hightown needs more extraneous lesbian sex scenes. That advance the plot.

Orange Line Update: It’s going to be chaos.

Paige Bueckers. Not owning. Limping. Get well soon, see you next year.

That’s right. CABOT cheese. From Vermont.

Roush Fenway Keselowski Racing is still looking for its first Cup Series win this season.

Is PBU this season’s EDGE?

Celebrities. Buying soy sauce? They’re just like us!

Jerry’s son is a Marine. Kevin.

What the hell are the Pats doing at training camp!? Oh, right.

Good for you, Joe Murray.

Russian prison tattoos > Normal WNBA player tattoos

‘The first time I wacked off was to Olivia Newton-John’ is not the tribute you think it is. RIP.

Hey gang of Jeeples, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “No one has a bigger sugar high than the Chatham bros today ..”

Even in 1897 they hated bicyclists.

Schmoopy is married to George Stephanopoulos???

Diana Taurasi to miss remainder of WNBA regular season with a quad strain. May not be the Mercury’s year.

There are so many hot Asians in Atlantic City.

News Item: Paul Brown Stadium is now Harvey Pekar Stadium. Apparently.

Madawaska > Ayahuasca

The Packers tried out a large group of specialists plus a group of running backs: Dexter Williams, Kallen Ballage, Jaylen Samuels, Stevie Scott and Calvin Turner.

When the moon hung soft and low,
Catchin’ stardust in the light
You held me closer and closer
There was magic in the night

A sweet love song, a melody
That I still can recall
Two young hearts filled with dreams
To walk away with it all

Whoa, whoa tender years
Won’t you wash away my tears
How I wish you were here

Andy Hart can’t even get on a rollercoaster, and I’m supposed to trust his football analysis?

Honk if you remember The Book of Lists.

Even after yesterday’s thunderstorm, my poor lawn is still crunchy.

How are things in Glocca Morra?

LA traffic police needs to add the Strike Team to their division.

Tell us more about your gag reflex, Lucy.

A medallion of dust from the Gillette Stadium lighthouse is the second-dumbest thing I’ve ever received in the mail.

Bike lanes. Just not worth the risk.

Cool Hand Luke thinks that’s too many eggs.

Fun fact: This is first time Braves are in Boston as defending WS champs since October 7, 1915.

We’re still doing the Jac Collinsworth thing?

The Chatham Anglers is the name of Cape League squad, not the bros.

Be more fooled by hardo Dan Campbell.

As we emerge from this heat wave it’s nice to be reminded throwing snowballs is one of the few timeless things there is.

Kirk is running off another coworker!? What an upset!

Marshawn Lynch. He had to get home.

Best bet for the weekend: Howie Carr is armed and ready for civil war with his fucking cane.

Someone go and put one of these up by BC to symbolize the Red Sox chances of earning that last Wild Card spot now.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesBill James, BSMW posters Hacksaw, Bedford Dad, Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. It’s gonna take you over A new sensation, (a new sensation).

And a happy Birthday to Angie Harmon as well.

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