Special All-Bill Russell Edition Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Bill Russell…the only important statistic…is the final score…R.I.P. to a champion.

I hope for his dear wife Jeannine’s sake Bill Russell finished signing those last 250 basketballs while she selflessly & thoughtfully curated his Twitter account.

It’s like my pops used to say, “Bill Russell loved playing with white cooz on and off the court.” What?

Dale would call him William. Felton. Russell. Bill didn’t know who Dale was.

Bill, as the Celtics player-coach, was the first Black head coach in North American professional sports.

Given the choice between winning or going home, Bill Russell always chose Win.

Russ supposedly lived in Mercer Island, Washington and there’s a lot of performative mourning going on there.

The Celtics loss to the Warriors in the Finals stings even a little more now that it was Bill Russell’s last time watching his old team.

Many people, maybe the best people said the Russell draft-day trade from St. Louis for Macauley and Hagen was one of the most important trades in the history of North American sports.

Bill liked dogs and disliked the media.

If you’re using Bill Russell’s death as a vehicle to increase your social media presence/influence, well, you really shouldn’t do that.

Bill’s listed height during his playing career was 6’10”, not like that liar Larry Bird.

I wonder if the late Nichelle Nichols had a dubious story of Russ telling her to please stay on Star Trek like her oft-told MLK Jr. tale.

Climbing up on Bill’s deathbed to point at local sports fans and call them racist for also rooting for Tom Brady is a bad look, Renee, you ghoulish Globie.

Russ understood the rationale behind the NBA pretending Wilt once scored 100 points in a game.

Bob Ryan’s watch has stopped.

Bill Russell died peacefully. Jeannine gave him a blanket and a pillow. He was well-treated. He hoped to see his old teammates soon.

Kinda sad Bill didn’t live long enough to see Brittany Griner get set free.

The poor Sullivan Tire guy is heartbroken over Russ.

Everyone forgets this, but Bill Russell was also a civil rights icon.

Bill won two high school championships, an Olympic Gold medal, two national titles in college, 11 NBA Championship rings, and oddly enough, a NY Yankees pocket watch.

How was Bill Russell like Dexter Manley? Back in the day neither could get into Reading! Bwahahahaha!

Bill was arguable one of the Top Ten Best Celtics players ever.

Fun Fact: Russ hosted Saturday Night Live in 1979, the same year that Harry Shearer, Don Novello, and Paul Shaffer joined the cast.

Bill Russell could be prickly. And cackle-y. But he earned the right to be both.

Russ was friends with Kobe, but we won’t hold that error in judgement against him right now.

Bill Russell finally Lost a Game Seven. The opponent was Time. Kevin.

Best bet for the weekend: Shukri trying to climb inside the casket.

The little honkies; they loved Russ, too.

The standard Sports Junk Drawer disclaimer goes here. A normal(?) Sports Junk Drawer will be published mid-week, as usual.

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