07/14/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Welcome to Boston Coach Montgomery!

“Stidham to Harry” is still real to me, damnit.

It’s a good thing the Red Sox aren’t trying to win the AL East, seeing as they have so much trouble beating the other teams that play in that division.

Of course I’ve heard of Pavel Zacha! He got Emerson to the Beanpot semi-finals a few semesters back!

And speaking of Boston colleges and universities, that AOC is one spicy breakfast taco, as it were.

Media Mike From Route One has diversified into NFT’s!

Women that play soccer are typically cuties.

Cakes are cooking for Jane Lynch, Reina Olea, Tanya Donelly, Robin Ventura, Tim Hudson, Adam Johnson, and Connor McGregor.

Why isn’t Keith Smith at the Summer League games? Has he been sent to Fat Camp?

Someone didn’t read the standard disclaimer.

DB DeJuan Neal out of Shepherd University, who has traveled a windy road from the XFL to the USFL, has now agreed to terms with the Washington Commanders.

My lawn all scorched and turning brown during this #FakeDrought? Psychosomatic.

News Item: Missing cat Rowdy found safe after weeks roaming Logan Airport.

The Bible helps when your fiancée is catching pipe.

Red Sox fans should desist with the “Yankees suck” chant. So far in this series, the only suckage has been from the Red Sox. Act like you’ve been there before, people.

Jangly guitars!

Harry’s foot was inbounds.

Hey gang of high school reunion goers, this week’s Phrase that Pays, narrowly edging out, “hope you’re having fun jerking off to someone way less hotter than me.” is, “The message the world news to hear.”

Can we stfu about Rhea Seehorn now?

Red Line Update: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to an earlier sick passenger.

Way to compete, Kyrgios.

Is there only one restaurant owner in the North End?

I went to a bunch of summer league games when they were in Boston in the early 2000s.

Honk if you remember the WHAM-O Water Wiggle.

Bobby Dalbec should participate in the Home Run Derby. 

Does every dog have a look that means “You are not properly taking care of my needs, Mr. Human”? Whether it is potty, need water, feeding time, bedtime, I get the same look.

Herschel Walker’s multiple personalities all have CTE.

I thought you were going to call each other Maverick and Goose and I wanted to fucking puke!

So Bertie Breer was on with Rotillo, and Ryen started their conversation with “hey, looks like you’re on vacation in New Bedford, huh?” Children of privilege trying to out-douche each other for half an hour.

Just a young gun with a quick fuse
I was uptight, wanna let loose
I was dreaming of bigger things and
Wanna leave my own life behind
Not a “Yes sir”, not a follower
Fit the box, fit the mold
Have a seat in the foyer, take a number
I was lightning before the thunder,

You know that one Yankee fan friend of yours who isn’t an asshole? What? No? Exactly.

Never name your boy Kriss.

Keal will be back playing for NE someday. Just you wait.

Queen size beds are for the poors.

When do the “The NBA is so much more fun when the Knicks are good!” takes start? (It isn’t and they won’t be)

In Great Britain, they call The British Open just, ‘The Open.’

Update: NYCFC has been given another penalty kick opportunity versus the Revs.

Best bet for the weekend: Cannoli at Mike’s Pastry, a hidden gem in Boston’s North End.

Seems reasonable.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesBill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Spitting in a wishing well. Blown to hell, crash; on the last splash.

And happy birthday to Bebe Buell, great and good friend to musicians everywhere and mother of Liv Tyler.

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