06/15/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Pour some out for Store # 17. Then clean it up with some sawdust.

Maybe wait until the Celtics stop moving to strap them to the table and start doing an autopsy of their season?

Happy for Bruce Cassidy landing on his feet.

Know what people historically want to spend money on during a recession? A streaming app featuring a 4th place baseball team and a hockey squad looking at a rebuild.

So what is it: you people actually want another Fitzy? No. You want The 15 on that wall. You need us on that wall.

The U.S. Open being played at The Country Club is a nascent Abbott and Costello skit.

If the NBA is gonna take its officiating cues from pro wrestling, then I say the C’s hit the Warriors with an International Object when the officials aren’t looking.

Cakes are cooking for Dusty Baker, Jim Belushi, Wade Boggs, Helen Hunt, Cedric Pioline, Abdur Razzak, and Cooper Kupp.

Break up the Yankees! Ha ha ha. No, really; Break up the Yankees. And then give their little league stadium the Carthage treatment.

Sorry, I’ve been building a pergola.

Wrong chat. I’m an asshole.

Red Line: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to a train with a mechanical problem at Harvard. Trains may be asked to stand by at stations or be crossed back for service.

Taylor Swift is such a skank and I love every second of it.

Palm trees have been planted in the Boston Public Garden for the summer.

Billerica now clearly needs to annex the Market Basket on the Middlesex Turnpike in Burlington to restore the number in town to three.

Hey gang of one that sees burner accounts every which where, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘I don’t have a fat nose and it’s not what would be considered big by nose’s standards.’

Lightning or Avalanche? Meh.

Drake? He sounds like an old GPS with all the Melodyne.

No season where your team keeps the Nets, the Timberwolves, and the Heat from continuing further in the Playoffs can be considered a failure.

No shame in losing to Stanford in college baseball, UConn.

A hard-earned draw versus Costa Rica playing in the agua for the USMNT in CONCACAF or ECOMCON or whatever.

Just what professional athletes want, ordinary, average-looking nobodies.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.

American Honda will voluntarily recall 1,093 Honda Passport and Pilot vehicles from the 2019-2020 model years in the United States to inspect each vehicle’s tires to determine if it has been recalled by the manufacturer, and if a recalled tire is found, replace it for free. No related crashes or injuries have been reported in relation to this issue.

Refsnyder? That’s your name? Nah, what was it before you changed it?

Honk if you remember when the librarian was a much older woman: Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn’t know anything about her private life. We didn’t want to know anything about her private life. She didn’t have a private life.

Bill Walton should be in a Sullivan Tire commercial.

How many of you are old enough to remember before Sonic Booms were regulated/controlled. You’d be walking along or, God forbid, hanging off a ladder, and all of a sudden there would be a boom loud enough stun you for a second. It’s the kind of little history that gets lost.

The Saints RFA WR/Returner Deonte Harty (on the 2nd round RFA tender), will report to minicamp this week, but the sides remain apart on a contract and nothing is imminent.

Cape League baseball action has commenced.

Rich Strike deserved to come in sixth at the Belmont for skipping the Preakness. There; I said it.

Is there any history of the Celtics winning games Six and Seven?

Quinn Nordin is gone. And there was nothing we could do about it.

Jim Murray’s schtick makes a lot more sense when you realize he’s been a gigantic fucking loser his entire life.

Best bet for the weekend: Microwaved Mac and Cheese.

Win one here at home, and anything can happen.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Shut your eyes and sing to me.

Also Happy Birthday to Cristin Duren, 1997’s Miss Teen USA ‘Miss Photogenic’ winner. I can kinda see why.

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