03/23/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Story Time! PTT!

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Antivernal Equinox. Yes, I say ‘antivernal.’

John Clayton always looked to be the picture of robust good health. RIP.

Everyone but YOU got better!

News Item: The Red Sox will wear a patch this season to commemorate Jerry Remy. A nicotine patch?

The secret to the Celtics success? They dropped the umlaut.

In some ways “We Are All Patriots”, but in a more correct way Ty Montgomery is now a Patriot.

Are we sure Cesar “The Abuser” Peralta is capable of such a heinous act?

Cakes are cooking for Teresa Ganzel, Steve Redgrave, John Strohm, Yasmeen Ghauri, Jonas Bjorkman, and Jason Kidd.

The 15 also possess hypersonic missiles. No, you can’t see them.

I’ve been saying “What would they do with Leonard Fournette?” in my Lou Gorman voice talking about Willie McGee.

And now I’ll have lunch.

It’s a bad look to sell more PS5’s than you actually have on hand, Karen Guregian. It is!

One note on the NBA: Does anyone else miss the twenty second timeout?

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Everyplace is a bathroom if you really want it to be.”

Not often you hear Semisonic’s other song.

Whoever the referee was who decided that the signal for the 3-point shot was 1 arm raised (3-point try) and the second arm raised when it goes in… that guy was an absolute genius. The signal for an exciting play is the same as a universally understood symbol for excitement.

What’s with the billowy slacks? Can we bring back the tight pants, clams?

Middleborough/Lakeville Line Train 011 (11:15 am from South Station) is operating 5-15 minutes behind schedule between Montello and Middleborough.

Ah yes, please explain to me, a baseball editor, that spring training games do not count!

It’s hard to hate plumage.

Honk if you remember red pistachios.

Hey, I’ve got an idea for new Bruins defenseman Hampus Lindholm’s nickname: ‘Lindy’.

Ever so rarely that man in a million’s born
Gentle and soft, but who’d just as soon off you,
For looking the wrong way as not

‘I didn’t even recognize youse cuz you look nothing like your mugshot!’ is probably considered a good thing to say when being introduced to a mobster.

The lesson from last season shouldn’t be “Do what the Rams did.” It should be “Any given Sunday.”

That junkie horse from the Kentucky Derby died?

That package of turkey from the deli grab-and-go section was $13.50, and not the $3.50 I thought it was? Less than ideal.

The PC Friars hoopsters will have some tough calamari to chew facing Kansas.

Will now be tweeting some random thoughts.

Best bet for the weekend: Bobby Dalbec adding to his Grapefruit League-leading RBI totals.

From The 15/15 Vision Eye Chart Column:

SPOTTED: Michael Stipe & Claude Julien splitting a basket of loaded fries at Cleveland Hopkins Airport.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster Laszlo Panaflex and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Hit the Panic Button! 

And Happy Birthday to actress Nicholle Tom.

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