03/02/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Bruins goalie Jeremy Swayman named NHL rookie of the month for February.

Baseball Opening Day cancelled? We’re gonna need a bigger mood lamp.

A Twitter meltdown is a gift for everyone.

Maybe Jetes should have listened to Glenn Rivers?  “Rebuilding is hard.”

Why the hell does Aaron Rodgers need to do a cleanse? He doesn’t shit himself enough during the playoffs?

Here’s hoping Phil Mickelson finds another sponsor that is also all CONSONANTS.

Vitali Klitschko is the mayor of Kiev? How am I just finding out about this?? Next you’ll tell me ‘Peanut’ Tillman is now an FBI Agent!

Interesting.

Cakes are cooking for Raimo Summanen, Laird Hamilton, Daniel Craig, Amber Smith, Ben Roethlisberger, and Becky G.

Bob Kraft could have averted this whole unpleasantness if he just made Vladimir give him his ring back.

Know what’s never locked out or on strike? The Cape League. Get the family and take in some games this summer.  You won’t regret a second of it.

It must be tough being the only woman ever who has cancer and wants stuff. Dial it back, toots.

Brett Netzer just set a record for exit velocity.

Demar Derozan plays like the guys I grew up watching get buckets in the NBA back during the Horizontal Hold, Vertical Hold & turning the TV antennas until you get a clear (or clearer) picture days. I’m old.

Can anyone point me to a reliable alt-Right to English dictionary?

Green Line Update: Shuttle buses are being phased out and service has resumed with delays due to an earlier power problem near Boylston.

You don’t bring a potato chip clip to a cat fight.

Zolak thinks the Supreme Court has too many names that are hard to pronounce.

Fun Fact: Writer Gardner Fox is credited with introducing the utility belt concept for Batman in Detective Comics #29.

Remy is going to be a hard act to follow for the Sox. He just had the right balance; knowledgeable and forthright, not harsh, not attention-seeking, didn’t say stupid stuff. Didn’t lecture. Sometimes I got tired of hearing about the 1979 team, you know? Tough to follow, though.

Scal has zero idea how literally anything works. It’s incredible.

TB12 can easily squash all these “Team X will pursue Tom Brady for 2022” but he seems content to let the rumor mill churn. Seems odd to me.

I think you have to act like that if you’re given an 80’s teen comedy villain name like ‘Brett Netzer’.

Robert Parish turned 40 before the 1993-94 NBA season. He had 12 PPG 7 RPG 1 BPG in 27 minutes a night. They intended to replace him at center with Dino Radja if they didn’t draft a replacement. In the 1994 Draft, Boston picked Eric Montross at #9. They traded him in 1996.

Hey gang of not-at-all out-of-their-depth people! This week’s Phrase that Pays is: “It wasn’t all just Tom Brady.”

We atThe15net dot com join many of the in-sports community in celebrating National Psychosomatic Ailment Awareness Day.

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks, gonna
Come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing

Come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities, am I
A part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singing; You are…you are…

Met Karl Ravech in Newport once. That guy could stand up straight under a picnic table.

Here I am at Dick’s Sporting Goods. So many golfs and fishings to buy, but I’m not going to do that today. Just want to be here.

Honk if you remember ‘The Nature World of Captain Bob.’

Did Chaim have to get the goy who turns his stove on to fire Brett?

When there was only one set of footprints that’s when Zero Hedge was carrying you.

Where’s your will to be weird?

60 years ago. Wilt. 100 points. Riiiiight. Okay.

Celtics closing the gap.

It’s a good thing I finally remembered to wash all my useless cloth masks! SMDH.

Damn you Nana Gary Myers.

Are the Red Sox trying to get people to attend the Tony Mazz-called games in person?

As my buddy Wayne’s Fatha says; Happy Lent.

That Gabz. I’ve never seen someone so arrogant and offer so little to society, and I know a lawyer that defends child molesters.

Best bet for the weekend: A Toyota driver winning at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Dart Adams, Bill James, BSMW posters 02062, Chuck Schick, Laszlo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. And nothing else compares. Oh, nothing else compares.

Milla & Mila, both born in Ukraine.

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