02/23/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Finland has won its first Olympic ice hockey gold medal, beating the Russian Olympic Committee (ROC) team 2-1 in the men’s final at the National Indoor Stadium in Beijing.

Is Aaron Rodgers going to start cutting himself? That thing reads like an emo vague suicide threat.

I’m a big fan of KG’s Celtics Alzheimer’s toward Ray.

JC Jackson has the big sads he wasn’t woken up at 12:01 AM Tuesday by the sound of a Brinks truck backing down his driveway.

Austin Cindric? Thats not a NASCAR name, that’s a Star Wars name.

So my takeaway from the just-ended Olympic Games is that Norwegians are good at winter sports.

Good day to get outside today and silicone up the snow shovels.

Marchand would have been sent to Gitmo, or the Regional Reception Centre for doing what Nathan MacKinnon did.

Is Johnny Weir related to Bobby?

Although I think multiple quarterbacks will end up going in Round 1 of the 2022 NFL Draft, as of now I don’t have a definite Round 1 grade on any of the 2022 QB prospects, which would be the first time since 2013 for me.

Congratulations to Identical Best Friend Sixto on being elected to the Salón de Amigos. ¡Felicidades!

Cakes are cooking for Peter Fonda, Bobby Bonilla, Helena Suková, Kelly Macdonald, Charles Tillman, Andre Ward, and Dakota Fanning.

Aaron Rodgers said today that he isn’t ready to talk about his future because he is just coming out of 12 days of Panchakarma. That is 12 days of throwing up and diarrhea followed by levitation. I’d prefer 12 days of the Three Stooges, Abbott and Costello, followed by Meditation.

DJ Khaled is supposedly Miami’s own, but he was a ballboy for the Orlando Magic. Makes you think.

Pauly is what a Mafioso names a parrot.

Alway entertaining when the Patriots Media Pitchbot goes all T-800 on some loser.

Is ironing heteronormative?

Hard to say which led to worse bunch of hot takes, the Matt Stafford photographer fall non-reaction, or the Juwon Howard slap that set off the melee at the Kohl Center.

Gift cards won are twice as sweet as gift cards purchased.

KC Chiefs have released LB Anthony Hitchens. but keep repeating that the “Cap is crap,” mantra.

Hey gang that I’m in no way obsessed with! This Week’s Phrase that Pays is; “You’re saying that I snort narcotics?”

Happy for the Finnish Men’s Hockey Squad.

I will never understand why the Big Ten Conference takes care of Wisconsin the way they do.

If the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has a house band, why doesn’t the Baseball Hall of Fame have a house baseball team? Or two teams; they can play each other 50 games a year on Doubleday Field and otherwise tour and beat the hell out of college teams, for credibility.

Considering how much is made of Belichick’s coaching tree or lack thereof, Mike Tomlin’s coaching tree is basically a telephone pole.

Going to the IKEA and having to say out loud, “I see you have the Flerk, but do you have any more of the Flermpgh in stock?”

Insert a lyrics snippet to your favorite Mark Lanegan song here. RIP.

Red Line Update: The work scheduled for this weekend, Feb. 26 – 27, has been cancelled due to the weather.

Was Dianna Russini flown in to help Finnish skier Remi Lindholm?

News Item: Dunkin’ jumps into spring early with new Salted Caramel drinks and other items.

Honk if you remember “Where’s Huddles?”

Patriots fans seem to pay absolutely zero attention to how the team does business.

Everyone forgets the Miracle on Ice 1980 USA Men’s Hockey team played Finland in the Gold Medal game.

Galoshes; great comedy word.

For goodness sake; someone please give Tom Brady a reassuring hug.

Time for bed. Right after I wash my mouth out with soap for that foul tweet earlier.

Pasta. He is a good kid. Keep that in mind.

Paul O’Neill to be enshrined in Yankee Stadium III’s’ Monument Park? It’s a non-starter unless they plan on honoring Graig Nettles and Willie Randolph that same night.

Best bet for the weekend: franchise tags getting lightly applied outside of New England.

Haha. You dummy.
No sacred cows, sorrey!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster Coma, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Have the Trees stopped Screaming, Clarice?

A car sunglasses selfie? I think this means Bianca is going to lead the truckers to Washington DC.

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