02/09/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

The only ‘LVI that mattered.

Two U’s Two K’s, no more B’s.

Is China Fatigue a side effect of COVID-19? Because I do not care about the Olympics this go around.

Whatever happened to the Brooklyn Nets dynasty?

I see Elway finally sobered up enough to draft a statement.

As coach of the Celtics Bill Fitch lived on the 33d floor of a high rise within easy walking distance of the Boston Garden. He called his apartment “The Bird’s Nest.”

What if a team hired both Almost-a-coach Bedard and Mina Kimes!? PTT!!

Sorry – I fucked this up.

So how many people are in the Dick Butkus twitter account writers room? 50? 100?

Cakes are cooking for Glenn McGrath, Svetlana Boginskaya, Georgios Korakakis, Charlie Day, Vlad Guerrero, and Airton Daré.

All the lugers should have to go at the same time.

A quick note about our friend Steve: I’ve never seen someone so bad at fighting want to fight so bad.

Coffee rolls are not doughnuts.

That kid Holmgren for Gonzaga has the body frame of Meghan Ottolini. Great personality!

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “I want to hear him say it.”

Aw, Puck the Fenguins anyway.

Considering getting one of those sheepskin steering wheel covers. I will not be taking questions about it at this time.

According to Joe Rogan, Mike McDaniel hit the genetic lottery.

Maybe he should go by Mikal, or Mychal?

Northeastern vs. Boston University in the Beanpot Final. Who do you like?

So Troy Vincent and Jeff Pash, huh? Not surprising. Underdog in the cartoons had a bigger rotating villain list than the Patriots.

Love something as much as Peter King loves riding to work with coaches like a total lunatic.

For a 10 song album, Coldplay’s “Parachutes” goes hard in the paint man. #Music

I don’t care what time of year it is or how shitty the weather is. I always get giddy flying back into Boston.

There are sales to be had at Dollar Tree.

Alfonso Ribierio hit 3 shots Friday at Pebble Beach better than any pros in the tournament.

Doc Rivers, an NBA Top Fifteen Coach, and Alex Hannum isn’t?

Maybe Felgy sent his wedding ring out to get brought in a size? He does look like he’s lost weight.

Is Mina Kimes responsible for her thirsty Travis Bickles?

Sorry, Rhody. Nice job, UMass.

“That fat old guy at the bar might be Joe West; he might not be. Better pay for his drink, just to be sure, Boston.” -Bob Ryan.

Lindsey Jacobellis with a gold medal performance. Turin was a long time ago.

Can’t you help me as I’m startin’ to burn (all alone)
Too many doses and I’m starting to get an attraction
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone)
No one can save me and you know I don’t want the attention.

So sorry you’re not here
I’ve been sane too long, my vision’s so unclear
Now take a trip with me
But don’t be surprised when things aren’t what they seem.

A belated farewell to the late Howard Hesseman. His Dr. Johnny Fever character infamously wound up at WKRP after getting fired from a Los Angeles station for saying ‘booger’ on-air. Booger. The past is a different country.

Imagine knowing what happened in a skills competition?

Honk if you remember Cleveland Gary.

Nah. You get murdered on a dunk, it gets talked about.

A real phone booth NASCAR race over at the Colosseum last weekend.

In six weeks there will be a warm rain, and the ground will turn green. May kindness follow your sorrows, as surely as the spring will follow the cold.

If you don’t want to argue, keep the nonsense to yourself.

You may have dodged a bullet not falling in with that pack of Holy Joes down Houston way, BFlo.

Gerald Williams won’t be down to charge the mound.

Hearing whispers there’s no truth to the rumor that Ben Volin’s in Louisiana trying to find Sci-Fi stadium.

I get styled for Super Bowl week. I roll out of bed in NYC.

If you haven’t invested in wireless headphones yet in 2022; what are you doing with your life?

Upton Bell’s nerve to accomplishments ratio is too high!

You done your grandma wrong, Donald Driver, and now she has to haunt you for the rest of your days.

Nobody brags about living in Sacramento.

Best bet for the Weekend: a win for the McVay coaching tree.

Also not watching the Olympics this year.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.  I hope The Rev was sufficiently avenged.

Dianna is back, and looking for scoops.

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