From the 15 Vault – Guest Column – Spoiler Alert!
( Originally published November 25th, 2020 at BJBSJournal.com )
Note- Mr. Scartelli has the day off. Please enjoy this submission assembled by his co-workers at Spoiler Alert!, an aftermarket spoiler sales and installation shop in Plainville.

Spoiler Alert: it’s a Prius gamely chugging uphill that’s causing the five mile long slowdown on the Pike.
Spoiler Alert: Boston is in no danger of once again becoming a college football town.
Spoiler Alert: you’re not important enough to receive one of the first doses of the CoVid-19 vaccine.
Spoiler Alert: good seats will still be available at America’s Most Beloved Ballpark.
Spoiler Alert: 50,000,000 Elvis fans CAN be wrong.
Spoiler Alert. it’s not the tryptophan in the turkey that made you pass out on the couch.
Spoiler Alert: Asian women do not have an extra muscle.
Spoiler Alert: you aren’t going to ever use the ‘fax’ feature on your home printer.
Spoiler Alert: no one has hit a 565 foot home run. Ever.
Spoiler Alert: the late Albert DeSalvo may not be responsible for the so-called Boston Strangler slayings.
Spoiler Alert: Brie Larson has a flat ass.
Spoiler Alert: it’s possible to go south on 93 and north on 128 at the same time!
Spoiler Alert: there never was a Loyko Investigation.
Spoiler Alert: Russ isn’t running his socials.
Spoiler Alert: ‘painter of light’ Thomas Kinkaide? A bit of a hack.
Spoiler Alert: the first thanksgiving took place in 1621 and was not a traditional feast of thanks but merely a celebration of a bountiful harvest.
Spoiler Alert: Elle Duncan? Not white!
Spoiler Alert. ‘Corinthian leather’ is not actually a thing.
Spoiler Alert: Pat Burns? Still dead.
Spoiler Alert: yes, AAPL has devised a way to remote drain the battery on your old iPhone in tandem with the release of a new iPhone model.
Spoiler Alert: Sixto looks nothing like Big Papi.
Spoiler Alert: the broad hosting the true crime podcast is in love with the suspect.
Spoiler Alert: Jim Nantz is not your friend.
Spoiler Alert: the Automile in Norwood is actually almost three miles in length.
Spoiler Alert: North American Sports Commissioners are not required to be from New York City!
Spoiler Alert: Len Bias may have sampled cocaine prior to June of 1986.
Spoiler Alert: Mary Ann’s sucked.
Spoiler Alert: Paul Revere did not act alone: he was actually one of several riders on April 18, 1775.
Spoiler Alert: of course that stripper likes you; you just gave her $300.
Spoiler Alert: Bridget pulled the goalie, as it were.
Spoiler Alert: it’s a sled.
Spoiler Alert: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving won a makeup call Emmy.
Spoiler Alert: Chuck Stuart had help getting off that bridge.
Spoiler Alert: the song title is ‘Your Love’.
Spoiler Alert: the Plymouth Rock you see today is like George Washington’s tomahawk.
Spoiler Alert: BJBSJ – Always First.

Be sure to stop by Spoiler Alert! off Industrial Avenue in Plainville for all your aftermarket spoiler needs.