10/06/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

All this will be lost. Like tears in rain.

Can one claim a moral victory from a loss that meant Coach Bill can’t call himself the Owl any longer?

But, but the evening lottery number was 1-9-7-8! Poor, irrelevant Dan.

Go look up Floyd Giebel and get back to me.

Dondero, who nobody normally reacts to, opining about the art of entertaining, is fucking entertaining. A paradox.

It’s almost like Gilmore was malingering. Aloha, Stephon.

It’s also preseason for those crying about preseason NHL officials.

Get (h)er, Urb!

Cakes are cooking for Elisabeth Shue, J.J. Stokes, Rebecca Lobo, Richard Seymour, Daniel Brière, and Addison Rae.

Johnny Lawrence is going to be good once he gets rid of the hardo High School head coach.

JD Martinez sprained his ankle tripping over a base? Only in baseball.

Bubba Wallace winning at Talladega was even more impressive considering he was pulled over three times by the police during the race.

Please bring Bucky Dent to every game against the Red Sox, NYY.

Produce jockeys are now trying to denigrate Super Bowl rings and Hall of Fame gameplans. Technology was a mistake. All of it.

Is there minor league professional lacrosse?

Hitting range balls before a charity scramble is a clown move.

It’s always funny to me when the pregame show has to hype up NFL games for two hours and then has to be throw in the “stay tuned to ESPN for some great WNBA action!”

Schefty breaking out the MAN WALKS ON MOON headline font for the SHOCKING release of Gilmore. FFS.

Ha! You call that a turnip?

Good luck to the talented and delightful Katie Nolan on her next project which I will never watch or listen to.

Imagine paying for a $28 shirt in 4 monthly payments.

The 15: sex positive.

Hey gang of enjourtainerulists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Respect the art.”

Who knew paying Steve Buckley to watch Leo Durocher on The Munsters wasn’t a viable business model?

I drink a lot
I get naked a lot
I like man coverage for my Defense
I keep it simple and I let the Players Play

That halftime show is going to cure racism. You watch.

Blue Line Update: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to an earlier signal problem at Orient Heights.

Rehab worked fine for me, but I didn’t spend the whole time arguing with everyone there about the illuminati.

Kyrie. Not our problem.

Marisa Ingemi only got another beat writing job because the league expanded, caller.

Arcand looks like the 3rd runner up in a Jason Segel lookalike contest.

Oh remember my darling
When spring is in the air.
And the bald headed birds
Are whisp’ring ev’rywhere.
You can see them walking
Southward in their dirty underwear.
That’s Tennessee Bird walk.

Gotta win this one, Connecticut Sun.

What’s this about Pandora Peaks being back in the news?

Panthers GM Scott Fitterer has already made 8 trades in his first year on the job: Traded away: QB Teddy Bridgewater, OT Greg Little, LB Denzel Perryman, Traded for: QB Sam Darnold, CB Stephon Gilmore, CB CJ Henderson, DE Darryl Green, K Ryan Santoso. Wheeling and dealing.

Somebody primary challenge Spilka. Please. I wanna bet on sports in the Commonwealth!

Fandom = delusion. That’s why I don’t consider myself a fan. I’m simply an educated observer who prefers one particular outcome over the other. If you’re not hating the teams you root for 90% of the time, you’re doing it wrong.

Honk if you remember Garber’s Gorillas.

Really though; doinking the upright should be worth 4 points.

Now which one is Vanessa Carlton and which one is Michelle Branch?

I don’t think that crowd was chanting ‘Let’s go, Brandon!”

The Ringer has recorded TWO separate podcasts in which some white dudes gather to rewatch The Depahded, yet not a single iota of WNBA content in sight … at least be original in your brazen disrespect!

This has to be one of the greatest Red Sox teams of the Covid Era.

The joke’s on the Athletic; Buckley purchased an entire bolt of vintage uniform flannel at the linen auction!

Where was the Fake Spike King with the Gilmore scoop?

Best bet for the weekend: Sale. Owning.

Revs rout Montreal Impact, 4-1.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Hacksaw and #the15 were used in this column

I love base ball.
Happy for Britney. The toplessness represents freedom!

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