09/15/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

“The more I think about it, the more I appreciate the Equator.” First real Larry King, now Fake Larry King Norm Mcdonald. RIP.

Take this down. Paul Pierce is a Hall of Famer.

Red Sox stil make the playoffs. Probably.

You see, Mac Jones completed too many passes on Sunday.

Lou Merloni is a shameless, mumbling company man.

Smerlas reminiscing with Ordway about two a day’s in training camp! Who is this postgame show for? 

Norm Macdonald dead? Damn those snowmobiles!

Cakes are cooking for Earnest Byner, Chad Bratzke, Tom Hardy, Heidi Montag, and Jenna Marbles

Matthew Fairburn is the new Julian McWilliams. Just less thorough.

Kevin Harlan is terrible and so is whoever his non-union former Chiefs sidekick is.

Sorry UMass broke your quarterback, Boston College.

Find someone who loves you as much as Mittens Volin loves Ryan Fitzpatrick. (Who played for Harvard.)

Not sure who that guy was, but everyone knows the real Steve from Blues Clues died in Vietnam.

The Jets are working out a group of punters, including longtime Saints P Thomas Morstead.

Joey Gallo is the Gene Tenace of 21st century baseball.

Enjoyed Bill Russell’s previously written, confused hostage Hall of Fame acceptance speech which generously praised his wife. Wonder who wrote it?

Snobbar som Jobbar.

Pats OL Trent Brown’s calf injury lists him as made the scene, week to week, day to day, hour to hour.

Deep down, I suspect Millwall does care.

Hope Stihdsy enjoyed the apple picking on Sunday.

I see Megan Fox is trending. Is she playing Lady Macbeth?

Have a scragglier chrysanthemum. You can’t!

A British woman tennis player won the US Open? What next, a blancemage winning Wimbledon?

Won my fantasy football opener after drafting Kyler Murray. Thanks, Josh!

WARRIOR Ice Arena. That’s it. That’s the post.

95% of sports media would be just as happy to cover the red carpet arrivals at the VMA’s or the Met Gala.

I don’t eat boiled mutton or jellied eels on 7/4, but that’s just because I’m normal.

I missed Brimfield? Oh no.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “I don’t know anyone who voted for Annissa Essaibi George.”

News Item: the troubled Boston Sports Journal financially unable to complete warm snuggly blanket giveaway promotion.

I mean, who does Kayce think she is, Doris Day or something?

Green Line E Branch Update: Regularly scheduled service is resuming.

Get over yourself, goodbye (goodbye)
It must be hard to be you yeah
Livin’ in your life
I was always the one to cry (to cry)
Now everything, everything, everything is alright.

Sneaky Orange Hobbitses!

Great news, you guys. Kid Hocules will be the referee next week!

Honk if you remember the Who’s More Grizzled? SNL skit.

Sketchers. Comfortable as advertised. 

Knock-Knock. ‘Who’s there?’ TJ Ward. ‘TJ Ward who?’ EXACTLY.

Do Joey Murray’s outfits come with a ukulele?

Best bet for the weekend: Revs start another winning streak.

Revolution. On a record-setting pace.
Abby. Normal. Not crying out for attention, like some people I could name.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and #the15 were used in this column. Based on a true story.

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