09/02/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

The Mac & Cheese stands alone.

Man, what lousy luck for the Red Sox to get hit with all these breakthrough COVID cases.

Gasper raises a good point: When have we ever seen accurate passers who spread the ball around be successful in this offense? Not for at least 1 years!

I’m sure the next Minifan live event will get the show back into the red! Or the black, whichever the good one is.

That was a well-timed loss, NE Revolution. Michael Gee would approve.

Can Scott Zolak wear a standard issue Klan hood, or does he need to go custom for the wonky eye?

Source: CLNS is laundering hot takes through Greg Bedard and the BSJ.

Cakes are cooking for Keanu Reeves, Lennox Lewis, Salma Hayek, Tommy Maddox, and Katarina Studenikova.

And a happy 90th birthday soon to the Springfield Newspaper’s Garry Brown!

ISIS-K, the New Coke of terrorist organizations.

From Cris, to Jac, the next Collinsworth’s Christian name will be just two CONSONANTS.

Schwarbsy. Owning.

Masking fatigue may be real, but at it’s worst doesn’t require getting hooked up to a ventilator.

Asante Samuel should do a podcast with Ted Johnson.

Carles Gil seemed to be grievously injured, but now is back? That never happens in soccer!

At this rate Zo is going to suggest it may be a good idea for Mac to have season ending knee surgery.

Allston Christmas is too commercialized nowadays.

Man, it has been so hot out, I’m hearing Andy Hart has been dating Nancy Quill just for the shade!

Bon Voyage, Jonah Keri! Ne fait pas tomber le savon.

The market for wildly inaccurate Montreal Expos articles dried up, I guess.

Heyyy besties, this week’s Phrase that Pays is”Considering talking about football is my job, I think I know.”

“Arm Talent?” Not actually a thing. Sorrey!

‘Antivaxxer Conservative Radio Talk Show Host’ just passed ‘Aspiring Rapper’ on the mortality rate charts.

Orange Line Update: Service is suspended between Ruggles and Jackson due to water in the track area. Customers can use Route 22 service between stations. Customers can also use Route 39 service between Forest Hills and Back Bay.

John Havlicek, who was the best all/around player in the NBA for four years.

Jed Hoyer > Brian Hoyer.

Bill is having the Pats training staff treat the team with horse paste and aquarium cleaner, caller!

Sometimes I swear they raise the gas prices just before holiday weekends.

Power lines!

Schedule more cupcake non-conference opponents, UConn Basketball. You can’t!

Florio’s take is something your dumbest acquaintance at work wouldn’t even say. “Imagine if the Bucs signed Newton?” would be met around the cubicles by the biggest “so the fuck what?” in the history of Earth.

Who do you think the vaccinated Red Sox player is? Tell us your best guess in the comments!

Jungle Cruise in on Dale Arnold’s Top Ten list of films based on amusement park rides.

Did it rain last night?

It was pleasure to cover Cameron Newton. He was funny, accountable and personable despite sucking shit. I enjoyed our weekly chats about how his day was going during media sessions. Best of luck to him.

So Carles Gil has his own Alex Guerrero? Interesting.

Bishop Sycamore, 2nd Century saint & martyr, whose impromptu sermons brought peace to those Christians about to be attacked by beasts in the Roman Colusseum; patron saint of athletic mismatches.

Pro tip: Vermouth? Not shelf stable. Refrigerate after opening.

Carson Green is now headed back to the #Texans practice squad, source said.

Honk if you remember “Ellis the Rim Man.”

News Item: Western Massachusetts residents preparing to close their pools for the season.

Cam was just turning his life around.

Your computer is like an umpire. When you have an argument with your computer, the computer always wins.

I have waited with a glacier’s patience
Smashed every transformer with every trailer
‘Till nothing was standing
65 miles wide..

Everything breaks their way, UMass football could go 6-6. Here’s hoping.

Apple cinnamon is significantly tastier than Pumpkin spice.

Can’t straight think? Slunk jeep.

Bedard wants a parade for the guy who threw 8 TDs. SMDH.

How can there be no blotchy Irishman in the running to be Mayor of Boston?

The practice squad is for stashing.

Kinda getting sick of grilling. There: I said it.

Best bet for the weekend: Trumping an All-Pro NFL player in football knowledge using your Fisher-Price credentials.

Chris Sale. Sy Syms probably wouldn’t have cared much for him, but Boston fans do.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster Kingasaurus and #the15 were used in this column. Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.  

Katie. Keen!

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