07/08/2021 Cleaning Out The Sports Junk Drawer

#FakeDrought

Will the Tampa Lightning Stanley Cup Championship Cap have a loophole?

Biz dies, Sox still alive.

‘Why can’t the networks find something to do with someone as so obviously talented as Katie Nolan?’ Has anyone trademarked a show called “failing upwards” yet? If not, she should.

Chaim is just lucky this Red Sox squad he assembled keeps winning and winning. (West coast scores not available at press time.)

“The Stanley Cup is in the building!” Of course it is. Does it have somewhere else to be?

The Patriots have signed rookie QB Mac Jones to his four-year contract with a fifth-year team option, per source.

IG tip: Put the 6 next to the 3.

N’Keal? Probably a Moor. As a non-sovereign the draft does not apply to him. Nor does the expectation that he run routes correctly and catch passes thrown at his feet.

It’s the simple times you’ll remember, like chugging Barefoot and crushing heaters playing video games.

Cakes are cooking for Jeff Stork, Toby Keith, Glen Featherstone, Marlies Askamp, and Beck.

Okay, I’ll say it. Trade Gilmore, and give JC Jackson that money.

Absolutely clutch bit of information for anyone who is going to do an egg freezing cycle: after you do your nightly injections, put a cold soda can on it. Takes the stinging down so much.

Guess he’s no Angel.

Sunlight may be the best disinfectant, but it is also a terrible algaecide.

What is the Latvian equivalent of getting accidentally killed in a 4th of July fireworks accident? Being devoured by wolves on Jāņi?

Hey gang of sovereign citizens, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘The Rise of the Moops.’

Joe Chestnut, the spirit of 76. A Great American.

Can Rach Nichols still get passed around by the players like the town bike?

Free Slappy!

Tampa beating Montreal makes Boston’s cup win fluky. Makes sense.

He’s giving me the high hat!

Washington Football Team something oral report something something ‘Dianna Russini’.

Why would you have the radio on during a Vineyard movie marathon for the boys?

I hope Milwaukee understands how important it is not to get swept.

Fireworks and cheap repairs, burn me out and breaks me down. Leaves me lost, I’ve gotta swear off, fireworks and cheap repairs.

Honk if you remember Barney Miller.

Ohtani is the real deal.

That myopic line judge has a lot to answer for regarding the public perception of N’Keal Harry.

“Congrats to NBC on 15 years of bartenders needing 5 minutes to figure out which channel the hockey game you want to see is on.” – @BobbyBigWheel, via Awful Announcing

You did it, Carl!

Does the camera linger too long on Wendy Pfeffercorn’s ass in The Sandlot? #CancelSquints

Joey JoJo’s crew has a name, Mego.

Green Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace D Branch service between Reservoir and Riverside, Tue – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service.

Can someone please reach out to Mike Barnicle regarding Biz Marquee?

Hey now Matt Barnes, Xander Bogaerts, Rafael Devers, Nathan Eovaldi, J.D. Martinez, you’re an All Star.

Up next on ESPN3, “Failing Upwards with Katie Nolan.”

Best bet for the weekend: tasty waves.

Top that, Christopher Nolan. You can’t!

material from interviews, wire services, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW, and #the15, were used in this column. Please reuse and recycle these materials.

WEEI’s Courtney Cox.

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