04/21/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Which item in the Sports Junk Drawer merits the picture of Carnac the Magnificent? Read on to find out.
Kept his stick on the ice.

Johnny Pierson: gone to that big furniture convention in the sky. Hopefully Johnny drew up his last will & testament as well as he did plays during intermission. RIP.

Congrats to the 45 million UMass alumni, all of whom never realized before last week they had a hockey team.

I swear, these alternate jerseys by Nike seems like just a way for them to get us to spend more money!

Any Super League that didn’t include Wolverhampton was doomed from the start.

Tell us in the comments what you think of the Bengals’ new ‘fits.

Next week on ‘The Case‘: Brockton is full of scumbags and Steve did a Google search.

I was also never offered the job coaching Indiana basketball. The rumors mean a lot to me but they are untrue!

You don’t need to post everything you do. You really don’t.

A whole lotta punks, squids, Haskell’s, and just plain cvnts on that Caps squad.

I guess we’ll only be able to catch Cash Cab on reruns now.

Cakes are cooking for Ed Belfour, Rob Riggle, Audra Cohen, Max Chilton, Princess Isabella of Denmark, and Josh Marion.

Every time I see a picture of Tom Werner, I feel like $20 has been withdrawn from my bank account.

I heard a lot of people telling us the celtics were back in business and look out…boy very quiet I am hearing from them after this gong show vs bulls

Came this close to pulling the trigger on purchasing a box of factory seconds biscotti at the Ocean State Job Lot.

Red Sox still have fewer wins than Mookie’s Dodgers, caller.

LAPD cancelled that Gold & Purple Alert for that missing imaginary Lakers fan lady, I suppose.

News Item: High school sophomore Matthew Vital shoots an 8-under-par 62, breaks Reading (PA) Country Club course record set by Sam Snead in 1949.

I could go for a nice scallop roll right now.

Is big pharma working on a vaccine to counter the effects of the Hellenic Flu?

Get another tattoo and do some arm curls; that will fill the emptiness this time I bet.

I like when Pete Abe tweets something that gets pushback and hides one reply when there are 12 more saying the same thing.

What, are you waiting for a streetcar?

Approximately 90% of my Premier League soccer knowledge is gleaned from Monty Python episodes.

It’s funny because that one fan threw a pizza slice at that other fan.

Glad to hear the Cape League plans to return. Go Pants Factory!

Hey bud, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Marv is Suave.”

It’s okay to admit this Celtics team has talent.

The Euro Super League, the Fenway Park Press Conference Room, and Linda Pizzuti…What are 3 things John Henry has spent very little time in?

Who Can Think About Low-Rise Jeans When We Have Vanessa Hudgens’s Jaw-Dropping Hip Cutouts?

Former Pro Bowl TE Jordan Reed is retiring, sources say. A 2013 3rd-round pick by the Washington Football Team, Reed emerged as one of the game’s best receiving TEs before battling injuries. His improbable comeback with #49ers last season allowed him to walk away with no regrets.

Red: Republican Blue: Democrat Red & Blue make Purple: One World Government Numbers, symbols & colors, are used in pagan Magic for predictive programming.

Women. Women and their knick-knacks! Amirite?

Rest In Peace, Walt Mondale.

Bitch! Kitchen!

Congratulations to the Pope Francis Prepatory H.S. Hockey team out of Springfield, MA, USA Hockey Division 1 National Champions.

Honk if you remember that Robert ‘Love’ Klemko was supposed to have a follow-up report on Antonio Brown.

You can’t be losing to a team in your division, Tone.

Now I’m not a highly metaphysical man
But I know when the stars are aligned you can
Bump into a person in the middle of the road
Look into their eyes and you suddenly know.

Actually, the worst person to sit next to at a baseball game would be ‘the relentlessly negative sports radio “celebrity caller”.’

Best bet for the weekend: a clash of the titans as the Mariners visit the lyric little bandbox on Jersey Street.

Central Florida. Late Mid April.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW, Mego, Josh Marion, and #the15 were used in this column.

Medford Maria Menounos.

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