04/14/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Happy for the team.

R.I.P. HRH Prince Philip and DMX. So often linked in life, so they will be in death.

Julian Edelman. I was in denial as to the severety of his knee ailment. Thanks for the memories, and the 100+ playoff catches. Way to compete. Really.

UMass Men’s Ice Hockey, National Champions. Suck it, Gilligan!

Fake ailments don’t get you on the vaccine list? Maybe try sleep apnea.

Half-price Easter candy as a gift? Sheesh.

I like Little Jonathan, epidemiologist better than Big Jonathan, draftnik.

Break up the 2021 Red Sox!

The universe has to keep expanding in order to contain all the cat gifs.

Taylor Hall. Why do I know that name? Is he in sports?

An Oriental wins The Masters post-Covid? Even more obvious than letting a team named ‘the Patriots’ win the post 9/11 Super Bowl.

Cakes are cooking for Stan Humphries, David Archibald, Da Brat, Rebecca DiPietro, and Win Butler.

Jennifer Grey is Joel Grey’s daughter? Did I just find that out, or did I forget that I knew that fact?

Hirohito had a big lead early on, too.

Putting your personal logo over an already bastardized American flag seems disrespectful to the troops.


Good win, Celtics. A self-motivated win, even.

Carrabis has no family and one interest in life and he can’t please his bosses. That’s a dedication to mediocrity.

See, FIRST you snipe, THEN you celly!

Bernie Madoff. It’s like he was living on borrowed time. Aloha means ‘goodbye’, Bernie. Aloha.

Dear White People: defrost your refrigerators.

Rachel Corrie wasn’t as much of a human shield as Jules Edelman was for Robert Kraft on their trip to Israel.

Hey there gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Blast it with Sweet onion sauce.”

Poor Tanya Ray Treadwell. Who could have seen that happening?

The Gardner Museum Heist will be solved before the Loyko investigation is concluded.

Of course Edelman caught this. He caught everything.

It’s not the Hall of Regular Season Counting Stats. Just sayin’.

I could see Dale Arnold pulling a ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ stunt and audition for the vacated Danielle Murr chair.

Some Rhode Islanders will tell you this is the worst 5-6 Yankees team ever.

You’re not the girl you think you are, yeah
Someone’s standing in your place.

The bathroom mirror makes you look tall
But it’s all in your head, in your head.

He won’t deceive you or tell you the truth
Woman, he’ll be no trouble.
He won’t write you letters,
Full of excuses
Come on, believe you have one, in a million.

Red Sox announce top prospect Bryan Mata underwent Tommy John surgery.

Does draft expert Bob Kraft still have his stopwatch?

Don’t give new guy Reilly the 6 jersey, Bruins! Bad number for a B’s defenseman.

A. 1982 NCAA Womans Lacrosse Champs.

Great day for baseball! Let’s play two!

Isn’t it usually the ladies get a massive headache before getting an injection from the ol’ Johnson (& Johnson)? What?

Honk if you remember the Quizno’s Spongmonkey ads.

Los Angeles law enforcement gave Tiger a mulligan on the speeding.

Is it too late to insert Wally the Green Monster into Space Jam 2? Probably.

Nice scheduled four a.m. tweet, Superfly.

My Fire Stick 4K does not upgrade my TV into having 4K picture quality. Sad.

Best bet for the long holiday weekend: Jerry Remy not practicing his Spanish diction.

X gon give it to ya. ‘It’ in this case is not camera presence.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW posters Miz and Lefty, and #the15 were used in this column.

Locally-born Birthday Girl Rebecca DiPietro.

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