04/07/2021 Cleaning Out The Sports Junk Drawer

Meh. More like City Dis-connect! Amirite?

Great news you guys, now that LeBron’s part-owner of the Red Sox the fans in other cities can’t call Boston racist anymore. Guys? Guys?

Hey Andy Gresh, can you tell me what time it is? Oh, thanks, you just did.

It’s pretty obvious the Evergreen being “stuck” was a false flag to fake a toilet paper shortage if you really think about it.

Now I’m only writing TWO things. I finish the other piece today & turn in the draft a week early THEN I work on a project that I’m not going to speak on because it hasn’t been announced yet.

Having a microphone in his face is one of the two things that can bring old man Kraft to orgasm.

It’s like ESPN didn’t understand Paul Pierce’s sly social commentary about how everything is so oversexualized nowadays.

Did new owner LeBron James inspire the 2021 Red Sox to flop? Sure looking that way.

Wait, they won two three in a row? Then maybe it was Load Management.

This upcoming HBO Lakers series is giving me serious “The Late Shift” vibes.

I’d like to hear Mike Francesa explain what a Non-Fungible Token is.

Cakes are cooking for John Oates, Tony Dorsett, Gary Wilkinson, and Suzann Pettersen.

I’ll say it. I don’t like the Red Sox Patriot’s Day uniforms.

Gary Tanguay with a dubious vouch? Well I never!

I’d kinda like Kayce to give another defense of how Portnoy respects women today.

Orange Line: Delays of up to 15 minutes northbound due to police activity at Green Street.

Oh no. My Roomba is all clogged up with spilled Xanax. Again.

Gonzaga is no undefeated 1969 Medfield squad.

I bet @GerryCallahan watches ‘Gutfield!’ laughing like DeNiro at the movie theater in Cape Fear.

The Case podcast by Barstool Sports is great if you like to hear Kirk Minihane struggle to convey even an ounce of actual human empathy.

I was worried the Red Sox had really used up all their bat power in spring training lmao.

It’s not always about who is the biggest, the fastest, or the strongest. It’s about quickness, seeing the lane open up, reaction time, shrewd planning, and if necessary some playful flirting. Like I said, whatever it takes. But I’m rusty. I haven’t traveled on a plane post-COVID.

Some unsolicited advice for Trenni: even though it’s only radio, there’s still cameras everywhere.

Rough break with your players gettind ‘vidded up, UMass.

Hey cupcake, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘ran away like a tulip when shit got real.’

I wonder what the punishment is when @LouMerloni forgets to wash Linda Pizzuti’s car? He has to call more damn games?

I love how Worcester is now referred to as the ‘Alternate Site’ like it’s Mount Thunder or something.

Skinnygirl wine: That’s an easy grape.

Can’t remember when I ate.
It’s just thumb and walk and wait.
And I’m still 500 miles away from home.
If my luck had been just right,
I’d be with them all tonight.
But I’m still 500 miles away from home.

The Liberal Club in Fall River is my absolute favorite place to get fried clams and Covid vaccine.

Jennifer Eagan does have the prettiest eyes in Boston.

The #Jets have received very little interest in the No. 2 overall pick, which means teams are clear on what GM Joe Douglas insinuated yesterday. The Jets know their pick.

Mookie Bettis is different than Monty Beisel.

Honk if you remember where you were when you heard Republika Srpska declared its independence.

Hang in there, BMX.

Tom Werner wants the second base coach fired!

I’d rather watch that Portnoy video on a loop for 150 minutes than another Avatar movie.

Eck is only entertaining in small doses. There, I said it.

TB12 Virtual Concussion Water? Fetch my Dogecoins!

If you are your own worst enemy, know that you will find no better friend than #the15.

Best bet for the weekend; pollen.

Woo Sox Home Opener now set for May 11th.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Hacksaw, and #the15 were used in this column. Like last week. But different.

Eagsy. Owning.

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