02/17/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Salt pile in Chelsea.

For a group that loves to beat theirs chests about holding people accountable, sports media types really hate being held accountable.

Dale Arnold needs to take a chill pill.

I am not going to know who the 2021 Red Sox players are without a program!

Sorry honks, “Karen” IS a racial slur.

How dumb are municipalities in different geographic regions that don’t spend their annual budget on combating weather I am used to in my climate?

People stopped caring about Antonio Brown’s past just like they stopped caring about the inflation level of footballs. And for the same reason.

Cakes are cooking for Alison Hargreaves, Buster Olney, Luc Robataille, and Gérald Cid.

Also cakes for basketball & baseball players Michael Jordan and Danny Ainge.

Steelers GM Kevin Colbert doesn’t give a strong endorsement for Ben Roethlisberger as QB in 2021: “As we sit here today, Ben is a member of the Pittsburgh Steelers. … He reiterated to us that he wants to continue to play. We told him we have to look at this current situation.”

Fake cancer is not a qualifying comorbidity for COVID vaccination upgrades. Sorrey!

WEEI had to go with ‘Fitzy & Mego’ to avoid confusion with ‘Fitzy & Otto’, the long-forgotten comedy duo with bits like “Who’s in eighth?”

Dear people lobbying to bring back Brock Holt: You’re still allowed to watch cute videos of little Griffin without having to sign his dad.

Keith Null could have led the 2020 Patriots to a playoff berth.

I get hard at cancel culture.

Yes, but it’s not and has never been you’re family’s trophy, lady. Don’t hold your breath waiting for that apology.

Gated reverb!

NASCAR teams drive in the rain about as well as Texans drive in the snow and ice.

Lauzon is an animal

Carlo is mean

Zboril is sneaky ugly

Miller hasn’t played for 2 years and is a fucking

lunatic who no one wants to challenge

But not one of them is as nutty as McQuaid and that’s ok because he was tapped

It’s good to have a wing that can bang and scrap.

That’s a Bruin staple since the 70s.

I’m just kidding

Not really but it’s true

These guys played together and have AHL experience.

Same system pays dividends

Ryder? Complete Animal

Happy to have that guy on the right side. That’s a Sal Vouch.

Big Win

I’m not asking.

How many hoop coaches has BC had since Al Skinner? Ted Sarandis: EIGHT!

Life was better before tats became mainstream. Change my mind.

It was nice of the Mrs. to let Bill Russell tweet from his account on his birthday.

Ice dams? Less than ideal.

How’s the gyroball from that Jap player the Red Sox just signed? No offense.

My Market Basket had a Wang Chung/Missing Persons/Eddy Grant three in a row the other day. Respect.

Hey gang of trainees, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘Ninteen periods out of Altair VI.’

In Brazil, Brazil nuts are called ‘castanhas-do-pará.’ Except in Acre, where they are known as ‘castanhas-do-Acre.

Where’s Michaela Vernava been?

I may be wrong, but I don’t think they use lasers to treat amblyopia.

News Item: International Volleyball Hall of Fame readies nominations for Class of 2021.

Until teams know what the salary cap will be, it will be very difficult to have any meaningful negotiations with their players who are due to become free agents.

This one he got a princely racket

That’s what I said now
Got some big seal upon his jacket
Ain’t in his head now
You marry him, your father will condone you
How ’bout that now
You marry me, your father will disown you

He’ll eat his hat, now
Marry him, marry me
I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be

Celtics need to find a way to win without the team being 100% healthy.

Honk if you remember @SavageBoston

Suspended for characterizing something J Stew said as a report, I’m assuming.

What if Jen Royle is the nicest person she knows?

Oft-injured D linemen on the other side of 30 are so hot right now.

I hear they’re going to throw the book at those guys who broke into Fenway. That’s right; season tickets.

How many press conferences have YOU won, caller?

Best bet for the weekend: 72 more hours of winter.

Programs! Getcha programs heah!

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. They were!

Pitchers and catchers and the ladies and gentlemen of the press report for Spring Training this week.

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