The 15

Hey stupid, there was another, even easier way to retire as a Patriot.

Poor Kacsmar. Maye won a game where he made “over” 26 pass attempts. That means six more weeks of not leaving the basement.

Might be time for JB to make the call to Dr. Leonard. Just sayin’,

Portnoy has a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a personal chef and he’s still sloppy.

Baseball needs more awards. There; I said it.

Bill’s dream job becoming available enough to pry him out of Chapel Hill, caller?

Boston is cornering the market on Marco/Marko’s. Think Marco Scutaro wants a job with the Sox staff?

Ketamine makes you act inauthentic sometimes.

For Curt Schilling, there’s nothing hotter than sending someone to the showers. What?

Antonio Brown’s perpetual motion fall from grace continues. Tom vouched.

Cakes are cooking foe Wallace Shawn, Al Michaels, Booker T. Jones, Neil Young, Valerie Leon, Buck Dharma, Pooch Tavares, Jack Reed, Paul McNamee, Megan Mullally, Greg Gagne, Nadia Comăneci, Naomi Wolf, Erik Howard, Michael Moorer, Sammy Sosa, Tonya Harding, Mayte Garcia, Radha Mitchell, Ashley Williams, Cote de Pablo, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, Jason Day, and Russell Westbrook.

Nap Lajoie is the only Hall of Famer whose plaque includes the word “graceful.” Would loved to have seen him play.

Ending a bag of peanuts on a good peanut is an underrated great feeling.

Portnoy brought in Hogdale to look skinny by comparison.

Why didn’t Dondero pause for a longer amount of time before executing that completely spontaneous spit-take?

All the best football experts promote shady gaming apps.

Red Line Update: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier train with a door issue at Davis. Service is proceeding.

Imagine having a kid and wanting to tell Perrault and Carrabis.

Zolak talked all over the 4th down stop, which was good because then he was all tuckered out for the Henderson run.

How is it 2025 in America and most stores in the mall don’t stock 3XL T-shirts?

National Signing Day and it’s some retard in a shitty cafeteria choosing between Endicott and Fitchburg State hats.

Who needs Mac & Cheese on Thanksgiving?

I’m so glad Rich Eisen went back to ESPN, so we don’t have to listen to his terrible play-by-play.

Mike Lombardi’s hair looks like when a guy in a 70s sitcom had a hairpiece that would fall off and he’d frantically put it on backward.

Papaya Gaming?

Hey gang of grifting gals, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She has the shape of a DeNucci.”

If tinnitus is a disability I’m Stephen fucking Hawking.

RA slurs so much that the generated captions don’t match what he’s saying.

Team Bucko Kilroy here. For reasons.

Hey buddy, haven’t you heard there’s a penny shortage in this country?

Seven game winning streaks. So hot right now.

Too soon to call Flagg a GM killer?

C’mon UMass!

Honk if you remember Grönk Flakes.

This is obviously all a ploy for Mina Kimes to promote her Mahjong app.

He’s a perfect stranger
Like a cross of himself and a fox
He’s a feeling arranger
And a changer of the ways he talk
He’s the unforeseen danger
The keeper of the key to the lock

Know when you see him
Nothing can free him
Step aside, open wide
He’s the loner.

So I can’t see the Northern Lights, but my cell phone can? That doesn’t seem fair.

The Cleveland Guardians pitchers were a good start, but when are they going to arrest Troy Vincent?

Celtics lead the league in the strong effort in helpful losses category.

Bo Nix with eye black looks like Bill Romanowski.

The irredeemable slobs at 98.5 are upset they can’t treat their workplace like a college dorm kitchenette.

BC basketball lost to Directional Connecticut? Was Bill O’Brien in attendance?

Every fanbase hates their OC no matter what. It’s ridiculous.

I’m not saying we bullied Joe into giving Walsh playing time, but I’m not not saying it either.

Have we mentioned that Pasta is a Good Kid? Because he is.

Best bet for the weekend: visits to the meat counter to order the fresh turkeys.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gas glove available inside.