Tag Archives: sports-junk-drawer

2/21/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

JACKIE SLATERSON.

The Patriots new coaching staff is big enough to need its own post office and fire department.

Wow. That Nick Gemelli guy is somehow less funny than Plain Black Hat.

Notorious social butterfly Larry Bird.

The Red Sox roster looks pretty well set going into spring training. They just need to find the right people to fill in the last 17 or 18 roster spots.

Hey, Jaylen didn’t dribble the ball off his leg during the dunk contest!

William Byron won the Daytona 500 after rain forced the rescheduling of the event to Monday? That’s what happens when you build a racetrack so close to the Great Lakes.

We will take a shootout win to semi-salvage the homestand, Bruins. Good luck on the road trip.

Dan Shaughnessy had heart surgery? What, they finally gave him one?

Cakes are cooking for Bob Ryan, Tyne Daly, Olympia Snowe, Jerry Harrison, William Peterson, Kelsey Grammer, Alan Trammell, Jake Steinfeld, Chuck Palahniuk, Terry Allen, Wish Bone, Ashley Greene, and Phil Jones.

UMass won that one for “Trigger” Burke. RIP.

Just left the grocery store and I have a take: There are too many kinds of apples now. Not saying we should go back to just red but the number of options is confusing. Around 5 types of apples are enough.

It rocks that Sabrina Ionescu did that. great accomplishment. super fun. very rad event.

Hey gang of attention seekers, his week’s Phrase that Pays is, “How do you look at a baby and name it Kirk?”

Tony Mazz: ‘Caitlin Clark is the real deal.’ You think so, doctor?

I’m sure Mrs. Looch regrets saying whatever it was that made him angry. Please respect their privacy at this time.

Billionaires will always- always – billionaire.

Red Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier medical emergency at Park St. Trains may stand by at stations.

It’s funny that running only one mile per day didn’t do shit.

Bill looks like he’d rather be watching video of Linda getting her implants removed than being interviewed for The Dynasty documentary.

Going forward, there needs to be a 100 NBA minutes played that season minimum to participate in the dunk contest.

Yeah, I’m very much enjoying Heel Rock.

Why was Market Basket so crowded on Monday? was it because of the holiday and school vacation?

Caitlin Clark must get so much clam.

News item: Iditarod’s reigning rookie of the year disqualified from 2024 race for violating conduct standard. Also; the Iditarod has a conduct standard.

Steering with her knees, she’s got both hands free.
Using cruise control you know, reaching over she likes to tease.

She said, “Ride-
Rev it up, rev it up, little boy and ride”
She said, “Let’s ride-
Rev it up, rev it up, little boy and ride”

Just use your body, don’t need to hitch-hike
When you ride with me little boy take it any way you like.

Remember that period in the 1980s when there would be two or three new baseball movies every year? That was fun.

The Raiders are hiring former Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin as their new senior offensive assistant, source said. After spending time as the Cowboys OL coach and the Ohio State senior analyst, Philbin is back in the NFL to lend experience to Antonio Pierce.

Honk if you remember Eric Heiden.

So long Matthew Slater. You only get one of those. Aww yeah.

My favorite winter storm that changes track at the last minute and fizzles out? The next one.

“Oh boy, I’m not even sure I want a farewell tour!” said LeBron out loud to a question no one really asked.

Root canal? Not as painful as expected.

An A for effort from Sony Pictures for the pivot to, ‘Madam Web is SO bad, you HAVE to see it!’

Por vs Para is an important part of knowing Spanish.

National Lacrosse League announcing a relocation mid-season is absolutely wild and also I thought we were just past that kind of stuff.

The wing, that’s an important part of the airplane, right?

Drew not seeing the doc producer’s intent to make him look like an entitled jerk it may as well have been a disguised blitz package.

Best bet for the weekend: a still-smarting from the loss at Creighton UConn vs Villanova in Storrs on the night they retire Rip Hamilton’s jersey.

FFS.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Flying Under Radar.

And happy birthday to actress hyphen singer Jennifer Love Hewitt.

1/17/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Print your own card and play along at home during the intro presser! (stick tap @SportyRMcKenzie)

Before they bought the team the Krafts were probably shitty fans too. ‘Celebrity caller’ level knee-jerk dinks.

Those half Patriots half Cowboys hoodies are gonna go crazy.

The Good Kid is now in sole possession of 10th place in all time Bruins scoring list.

When Tom Werner said, ‘full throttle’, he meant, ‘due to a scheduling conflict, John W. Henry will be unable to attend the Winter Weekend event.’

WembyamaMania comes to TDGarden!

I don’t like NFL playoff games on Mondays (the originally scheduled one). They could have had 3 games Saturday, 3 games Sunday, and not stuck anyone with a short week in the postseason. It doesn’t seem fair.

Not sure why these players don’t copy Brady and go with a 1-millimeter full body wetsuit. Wouldn’t even know its cold and 1mm is not restrictive at all.

If you’re not Norwegian, you’re Mexican.

Cakes are cooking for James Earl Jones, Todd Susman, Steve Earle, Mick Taylor, Katalin Kariko, Steve Harvey, Chili Davis, Jim Carrey, Shabba Ranks, Jeremy Roenick, Derrick Mason, Zooey Deschanel, Dwyane Wade, Calvin Harris, and Jake Paul.

That is what the Eagles get for putting an offensive coordinator in charge of the defense.

The wrong local team is going full throttle.

I don’t think we appreciate enough how the centers know to snap the ball at a time it won’t bounce off the guy in motion.

Green Line Reminder: No train service between North Station and Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), and Heath St (E) due to track work. Use buses to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay and North Station. Regular service will resume Jan. 29.

Imagine being such a lazy piece of shit that you have to sniff chocolate instead of eating it.

This made me smiggle (that’s a word I made up, it’s smile + giggle)

I have been cancelled he screamed on ESPN while wearing a wifebeater.

Boston: hold my iced Dunkies.

So when is the town hall portion of this year’s Red Sox Winter Weekend?

A major offensive shakeup: The Saints are moving on from OC Pete Carmichael, per me and Tom Pelissero, changing their offense for the first time since 2009.

Hey gang of fabulous fabulists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m strong, athletic, and savvy.”

Has there ever been a major league baseball player who was older than the sitting President?

I enjoyed The Holdovers. My wife found it depressing. I thought it was uplifting. Maybe it was both. Either way, amazing actors.

The carousel is still churning.

Jonathan watching Succession and taking notes like it’s a documentary.

Did Football Cat go 5 for 6 over Super Wild Card Weekend?

Update: Brandon Carlo, Derek Forbort, Matt Poitras, and Linus Ullmark are practicing.

Hear me out here. I would respect the Kyed and Wojak expose from last week a lot more if they actually had to work for it, and weren’t just running PR for Mayo et al.

I think that’s the Snapchat logo above the Rams nameplates. Every. Single. Time.

Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger.
Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger.
Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger.

Can’t you hear me knockin’?
Ahh, are you safe asleep?
Can’t you hear me knockin’?
Yeah, down the gas light street, now.
Can’t you hear me knockin’?
Yeah, throw me down the keys,
Alright now.

Hear me ringin’ big bell tolls.
Hear me singin’ soft and low.
I’ve been beggin’ on my knees.
I’ve been kickin’, help me, please.

The Marcus Stroman return home to New York has its potentil story if his 2d half hip issue(24 IP, after 112.2 in 1st is cured):father Earl a New York policeman, HS Jr. Jayden Duke-bound SS w/R.Cano comp Height Doesn’t Measure Heat Foundation msgical. Cape 2010-11? 34 IP, 0 R

Better Call Saul and Cat Detective, both shut out in Emmy voting. Like equals!

That’s terrible dirt.

Honk if you remember ‘Goodnight Beantown.’

Breakfast lasagna!

Green Bay QB Jordan Love’s girlfriend’s father is Boston College alum Ron Stone.

Feel better, cupcake. You sound like Gina Gershon.

Tom Caron must stare out the window all winter waiting for spring training to start.

Jon Bon Jovi is lucky he got to ring the lighthouse bell when he did.

Welcome back, Anita.

To me, the essence of Bill Belichick is a visor, a whistle wrapped around his finger and teaching moments in late July. Checking on punt protection in a near corner of one practice field. Pulling an undrafted rookie aside for a pointer or two in a far corner of another field…

I’m sure eventually Dak will have more playoff wins than Ryan Tannehill.

Get up, Jim Irsay.

Happy trails, Coach Murphy.

Best bet for the weekend: a spirited fake QB slide competition in Buffalo.

This is a good billboard; no puzzling owl references.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Stop what’s goin’ on, stop what’s goin’ wrong.
You better listen from now on.

And Happy Birthday to singer, songwriter, guitarist, author, and actress Susanna Hoffs.
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