5/8/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
Shertenlieb to WZLX? Our short, regional nightmare is finally over. But will the wacky bits work sandwiched between Meatloaf and Molly Hatchet? Enjoy obscurity.
You all want Tatum to be a point guard. Don’t @ me.
Mmmm, meatloaf sandwich.
Upton Bell was still working in football the last time the Knicks won a title.
Boy that Gorman “goodnight,” huh? That’s one you don’t forget.
Watching Lohrei handle the puck immediately after Wotherspoon is hilarious. It’s like they play different sports.
Why are the refs so deferential to Denver? It makes zero sense.
Cakes are cooking for Gary Glitter, Chris Frantz, Mike D’Antoni, Philip Bailey, Alex Van Halen, Bill Cowher, Lovie Smith, Ronnie Lott, Melissa Gilbert, Omar Camporese, Hiromi Arakawa, Enrique Iglesias, Jussi Markkanen, Joe Bonnamassa, John Maine, Adrian Gonzalez, Kemba Walker, and Olivia Culpo.
Kobe anally raped a woman, but Pat Bev was mean to the middle-aged lady. He should leave.
The Mets are like the lottery one day you win big and the next day you lose a lot.
Jalen Brunson looks like Abby Chin without makeup.
They fired the reigning In Season Tournament winning coach? Odd. And sad.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Are you going to spend vacation watching a trial on your phone?”
Macklin Celebrini? That’s not a hockey player name, that’s the name of an advertising agency.
It’s free to subscribe to Pat Bev’s podcast. That lady was just being difficult.
What do people even do with bookmarks?
Tatum is gonna have to take over one of these times and steal us a game. Or perhaps even steal us a series. Or neither, seeing as basketball is a team sport.
How much at auction would Darren pay for ‘genuine human emotions?’
Carlo has a kid – flies in late, plays, scores. Rudy Gobert has a kid- smokes weed, goes on the ‘Gram, misses game(s).
Hope Keith Foulke is happy that he lost a fan!
Red Line Reminder: May 11-12 (This Weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Broadway and North Quincy due to bridge and track work. Regular Red Line service will operate between Ashmont and JFK/UMass during this work.
Jamal Murray looks like an extra in Raid on Entebbe.
Carl Yastrzemski. I stood next to him once at a store. There were a handful of men there. None of us spoke to him, though he gave me a head nod. I know he is a man and yet somehow, we all knew that he is more than that. He quietly disappeared from the store as if he was an apparition.
The Indianapolis Star’s Gregg Doyel is in the middle of a two-week suspension after the Caitlin Clark press-conference controversy. He will not cover any Fever games live this summer.
Shukri must be the Philly equivalent of Charlie on the MTA. All abroad!
Pitchbots are a stain on the beautiful troll community.
My kid just walked into the room. Sees Leafs vs. Bruins warming up on TV. “What? It’s boy’s hockey” with full indignation. “Why isn’t there girl’s hockey on?” She’s 5 and will never know a world where we can’t just turn our TV on and see pro women’s hockey players, and I love it.
Why does Kenny Smith need to have a video if all he’s doing is counting to 12?
Friends say it’s fine, friends say it’s good.
Everybody says it’s just like Robin Hood.
I move like a cat, talk like a rat, sting like a bee.
Babe, I’m gonna be your man.
It’s plain to see,
You were meant for me.
Yeah, I’m your boy,
Your 20th century toy.
Kendra Middleton’s peanut allergy story was lifted straight out of the film Fallen.
PWHL Boston – playoff bound.
Mutnansky is still in Monte Carlo playing baccarat with his Kentucky Derby winnings, right?
Just say you don’t know the joke. It’s OK.
If you take Aiden the Turtleboy’s place in line for the Karen Read case, he’s gonna kick you out of the Lollipop Guild.
Sears has medicine balls on sale today. Great prices.
Does interviewing Samir Suleiman satisfy the Rooney Rule the way having Brandon Hunt in for an interview does?
Honk if you remember the Dunkin coffee coolatta.
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Love that there’s more outrage about Pat Beverly being mean to a reporter than there is about him beaning a woman in the crowd in the head with a basketball.
No, you did not ‘catch a stray’ during the Tom Brady Roast.
I can take 30 Minions right now and throw them in the NFL. You cannot take 30 NFL players and put them in the Minion Ice Cave. jmt
ACAB and ‘bitch clearly did it’ are not mutually exclusive thoughts.
What is it with Kennedys always losing part of their brains?
Best bet for the weekend: packed brunch spots on Mother’s Day.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Mitch Hedberg, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. What you gonna do when you get out of jail?
The 15 