What do you say to a ballclub with two black eyes?
Mayo parlayed having the aisle seat across from Kraft on a long haul flight to being the HC of the Patriots.
Bruins kept it respectable in the Centennial Game and didn’t score nine on Montreal.
Scals 9 sweaters and sport coat isn’t hiding his juicy Bertrand’s
This is sad to see with Justin Tucker. Feels like a superhero losing all his or her powers.
‘Skatteboo’ sounds like a slur Tony Mazz didn’t know the provenance of but used anyway.
Aaron Rodgers is a puppy.
Cakes are cooking for Wink Martindale, Freddy Cannon, Terry Woods, Southside Johnny, Jeff Bridges, Pamela Stephenson, Rick Middleton, Cassandra Wilson, Dave Taylor, Bernard King, Lee Smith, Raul Boesel, Frank Reich, Danny Weinkauf, Sergey Bubka, Marisa Tomei, Veronica Taylor, Fred Armisen, Mike Barrowman, Jay-Z, Jeff Blake, Shannon Briggs, Ted Johnson, Corliss Williamson, Kristina Groves, Jelly Roll, Joe Thomas, Carlos Gomez, Sara Civian, and Kin Seok-jin.
Gatorade would be about 30% more satisfying if they switched mainly to cans. Their thick plastic bottles take forever to get cold and almost never reach the ideal temperature.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “This dude is literally about to fumble the tardwife bag and I’m so sad for him
Good cancellin’ weathah. Ahyuh.
Providence fans acted like shitheads? No way! That hasn’t happened since the last time they had a home game!
I’d say I’m more handsome than Justin Tucker. Usually a great kicker- not too easy on the eyes.
Two straight weeks of Spero Dedes. The man with the energy of the head of the Springfield Box Factory.
In 1844, the Democrats were split The three nominees for the presidential candidate Were Martin Van Buren A former president And an abolitionist James Buchanan, a moderate Lewis Cass, a general and expansionist From Nashville came a dark horse riding up He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump
Austere, severe, he held few people dear His oratory filled his foes with fear The factions soon agreed He’s just the man we need To bring about victory Fulfill our manifest destiny And annex the land the Mexicans command And when the poll was cast, the winner was Mister James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump
Have we considered that Aroldis’s girlfriend might have been really annoying?
Moana 2 was tremendous.
Green Line Reminder: December 6 – 20 No train service between Medford/Tufts, Union Square, and Park St due to track work. Use shuttle buses between Medford/Tufts & North Station, Use the Orange Line downtown. Shuttles will not service Union Square – Use Bus routes 86 & 91.
Honk if you remember Boston Bruins’ right wing Andy Hebenton setting a new NHL record by playing in his 581st consecutive game. Of if you heard about it.
Thinking about watching Formula 2.
The secret to making the Thanksgiving leftovers last is to not have any the very next day.
Hey, you’re not the first guy to out himself by trying to get Barstool dudes to notice them, you won’t be the last.
Helping your parents watch something on espn+ should be an Olympic event.
Great job taking what’s yours, Michigan Wolverines.
Best bet for the weekend: NBA Cup Mania!
Centennial. Bear. Statue.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW‘ Old Friend NASCL, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.
And Happy Birthday to supermodel/actress Tyra Banks.
Jaylen is so ripped watching him guard fatty Harden makes it look like he’s guarding Shukri Wright.
The Red Sox were in on Snell. Okay.
If you were one of those folks who took it upon themselves to put a bunch of campaign signs all over the place, I genuinely appreciate your dedication to democracy, no matter whom you backed. But it’s been a week. Go clean up your deal.
If Bill was still working for the Krafts there’s no way he’d be allowed to print in color.
Good showing, RIFC. Get ’em next time.
He’s actually a great guy, great dad, great coach. I’ve watched him break up potential fights before they happened. So instead of 2 dads spend the weekend in prison, Greg controlled the situation. He is a very nice man and a pillar of the community, he volunteers his time.
When my mom knows the Patriots’ personnel better than the offensive coordinator something is very wrong (Granted, she’s also a diehard who rocks a Hannah jersey, but still…)
You can tell that Civian hates all the unwanted attention she gets, because she continually seeks the unwanted attention.
Cakes are cooking for Kathryn Bigelow, Curtis Armstrong, Bill Nye*, William Fichtner, Caroline Kennedy, Mike Scioscia, Steve Oedekerk, Charlie Benante, Mike Bordin, Fisher Stevens, Robin Givens, Fiachna O’Braonáin, Garry Valk, Nick Van Exel, Jon Runyan, Martin Gramatica, Chad Kilger, Jaleel White, Jimmy Rollins, Ricky Carmichael, Alison Pill, Lashana Lynch, and Omar Jimenez.
Yams and sweet potatoes are interchangeable and don’t let anybody tell you different.
Right-hand catching goalies always look like they’re playing with borrowed equipment haha. But Askarov having nice debut for SJ.
I know this is simple math, but doesn’t Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium follow from expansion of the generating function (p*x + q*y)^2? Allele frequency remaining constant follows from renormalization, as expected number of x alleles is 2p and y alleles is 2q.
If you consider the old Browns and the Ravens to be the same franchise, then all 32 NFL franchises have spent at least one week in last place of DVOA since 1979.
Blue Line Update: Normal service has resumed between Wonderland and Orient Heights.
Is Sacco up to the awesome responsibility of coaching the Centennial Game?
Kadlick/Kyles is the new Paxton/Pullman.
Is Frosty Bias on Bluesky? I need assurances that I’ll be reminded daily that Reggie Lewis and Len Bias are dead.
Hey gang of amphibious Spaniards! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I would tongue that ass til I tasted Fall River.”
I am not a Christmas girlie, but having siblings with kids makes it way more fun.
News Item: Bertucci’s is debuting a brand new concept, and its first location will be in Boston.
How am I the least chill guy on Twitter?!
Man, it seems like the Lions and the Cowboys play EVERY Thanksgiving!
After all the jacks are in their boxes And the clowns have all gone to bed You can hear happiness Staggering on down the street Footprints dressed in red And the wind whispers “Mary.”
All the suckers getting to the airport early means you can get there 55 minutes before your flight leaves.
Honk if you think Ted Williams should have won the 1941and 1947 AL MVP Award.
Sam Kennedy would like you to know that the Sox are just so darn disappointed Snell decided to go with another offer but that coming this spring to America’s favorite ballpark you can get a Guy Fieri smash burger and a cup of New England’s favorite Legal Seafood chowder for only $89!
ESPN putting out playoff rankings every week that are 100% meaningless and using that as an excuse to do a segment where Paul Finebaum yells about it is terrorism.
Does the Herald still run ‘Clip’ Callahan’s HS football article every Thanksgiving?
Bit of a stumble out of the gates for UConn MBB.
Is Bill James okay?
Breaking: Daniel Jones to sign with Vikings’ practice squad after release from Giants, per sources.
Best bet for the weekend: Open Newbury: Holiday Stroll! Join us for car-free shopping and holiday fun on Sunday, December 1, and Sunday, December 8. Fun!
Anyone who false starts is a Patriots offensive lineman. Anyone that commits holding is a well-disciplined Patriots offensive lineman.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW‘s Lazslo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. You want it all, but you can’t have it (yeah, yeah, yeah) It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Jeanne Crane and friend wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.
No one goes undefeated anymore. Not the Chiefs, not the Cavs. No one.
Ah, the old ‘use an Emirates NBA Cup group stage game as cover to fire the hockey coach’ trick.
Nick Pivetta declines qualifying offer, per source. You go, Breslow!
Larry Johnson, a great guy who’s been reunited with his feet in Heaven. RIP.
Carter’s best attribute is being paired with Scal.
I love when people suggest pulling the team off the floor as if anyone would ever do that.
Chris Forsberg should have a wetter voice.
Mark Daniels is a one-man ‘The Onion’ headline generator.
Cakes are cooking for Dick Smothers, Joseph Biden, Norman Greenbaum, Veronica Hamel, Joe Walsh, Jacqueline Hansen, John Bolton, Rodger Bumpass, John Van Boxmeer, Mark Gastineau, James P. McGovern, Sean Young, Ming-Na Wen, Mike D, Alex Arias, Chris Childs, Jeff Tarango, Callie Thorne, Sabrina Lloyd, Joey Galloway, Jerald Moore, Dierks Bentley, J.D. Drew, Dominique Dawes, Nadine Velazquez, Carlos Boozer, Jared Followill, and Michael Clifford.
Last week the neighbor invited me over to watch the Tyson fight. Is it 1996?
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I mourn Vince Young’s career every day.”
Nashua, it’s like a baby Philadelphia.
I’ve seen very little evidence that Trey Lance is a real person.
LinkedIn is so pointless other than for cyber bullying.
Dondero is like these new age weed growers that cross pollinate strains of weed and call it like ‘Bazooka Man Vagina’ or some shit.
Dakota wasn’t wrong about loser DNA. He just had the wrong guy and not Embiid.
Pagliuca is starting to look like Joe Pesci playing David Ferry in JFK.
Does Mark Daniels have such an underbite from getting his teeth kicked in over and over?
The Commonwealth is famous for giving Sacco’s a fair shake.
Paul George did not sign a super max, nor was he eligible for one or needed one, as they are reserved for players with under 10 years of service to be able to exceed their normally limited maximum % of the team’s salary cap based on certain performance benchmarks, allowing them to then make up to 35%, instead of 25% or 30%, with 35% being what Paul George was already eligible to be paid as he had played 14 years in the National Basketball Association.
It’s fair to wonder how much Shukri’s angry video influenced Sweeney decision.
Qatar MNT superfan Alexi Lalas cosplaying as an American fan is interesting/
Ty Jerome does not jump as high as his name would imply.
We live in a tough time where it is most wise to save money, but there’s more ways than ever to spend money and everything is more expensive.
Larry Johnson was blacker than Deuce Tatum.
Denver is just a big sprawling suburb with the mountains in the background.
e in – Cuddy.
Netflix is that kid that tells 4 friends to come over his house cause his parents are away for the weekend.
Honk if you remember Bruins Head Coach Mike Sullivan.
Curran rapes Phil Perry weekly.
Neely and Sweeney will have run through Julien, Cassidy, and Montgomery yet are not on the hot seat themselves? How come?
I been in the right place But it must have been the wrong time I’d have said the right thing But must have used the wrong line I been on the right trip But I must have used the wrong car Head is in a bad place and I wonder what it’s good for
I been in the right place But it must have been the wrong time My head is in a bad place But I’m having such a good time I’ve been running trying to get hung up in my mind Really got to give myself a good talking to this time
Bo Nix has been named the AFC Offensive Player of the Week. He’s the first Broncos rookie QB in franchise history to earn the award.
Maybe it’s just me, but if the game was officiated correctly, I think the Celts win by 30.
Bryan Mata and Isaiah Campbell DFA’d.
If picking up disoriented guys is a skill, give Steve Buckley the gold medal.
I’m now all-in on the Drake Maye over hype. It’s the quickest way to get Mayo fired.
Bert Breer has fetal alcohol syndrome eyes.
I’m going to work “Culture Metric” into all facets of my life.
I generally prefer Principalities over Emirates.
Argonaut Arbuckle with a backup QB performance for the ages in the Gery Cup final.
Best bet for the weekend: a speed matchup in Miami.
May your green recliner be comfortable and your bowl of snack orbs bottomless, Larry.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Prepare yourself, you know it’s a must. Gotta have a friend in Jesus. So you know that when you die, He’s gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)
Nice win out in St Louis, Bruins. Monty might still be the coach for the Centennial Game!
It’s really cruel of the NBA to introduce another title that the Knicks can’t win.
There is a better chance of the tooth fairy floating into your room tonight, kicking your ass and drinking all your beer than the Red Sox signing Juan Soto.
One does not simply walk into Bobby Dodd Stadium at Hyundai Field.
Pasta is great, but it’s not a side.
Cakes are cooking for Joe Mantegna, Roger Steen, Gilbert Perrault, Merrick Garland, Andy Ranken, Tracy Scoggins, Chris Noth, Whoopi Goldberg, Aldo Nova, Charlie Baker, Greg Abbott, Neil Flynn, Blair Rasmussen, Vinny Testaverde, Jimmy Kimmel, Mark Fitzpatrick, Pat Hentgen, Gerard Butler, John Francis Zingg, Noah Hathaway, Metta Sandiford-Artest, Asdrúbal Cabrera, Lando Norris, and Emma Raducanu.
Cavemen must have had mad hemorrhoids, wiping their hairy asses with leaves and whatnot.
Did we throw Strahan in Gitmo yet?
It’s WILD that Tommy Boy had a contest so if you could properly identify the sample used in the hook of De La Soul’s “Plug Tunin'” single back in Fall ’88 you could win $500… That’s equivalent to $1333 in 2024.
The local scribes were this excited and optimistic when last year’s Patriots team got win #3, right? Right?
BlueSky’s getting more beta. Heyooooooo!
Kevin Owens joining the Bloodline 2.0 would be so insane and I’m all for it.
That Dickerson tweet is amazing. “Just teaching my son to be an asshole to total strangers for no real reason. So proud.”
At least they don’t need to air the old man smell out of the White House now.
Hey gang, of vowel purchasers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Treat yourself to a round of sausage.”
Excited to report kids in middle school are still reading Mike Lupica books.
Quin Snyder looks like a Tom Hanks stunt double in Philadelphia.
Red Line Reminder: November 18-24 Shuttle buses replace service between Harvard & Broadway for track work. Shuttles will not directly service Park St or Downtown Crossing. Riders can board at Haymarket & State.
I thought John Basedow died in the tsunami.
Jalen Ramsey has the busiest facemask I’ve ever seen for a DB but he pulls it off.
I wasn’t going to watch the NBA Cup tournament until they debuted a new design on the ball.
We lost Carlo Imelio? Sad. Often beaten, never defeated.
Good to see Steve Kerr (who was missing Podziemski and Melton) was still able to find a way to play eleven players IN THE 1ST QUARTER(!) of the game in a sport he’s adamant you can’t do that kind of thing in.
It’s been six months She hasn’t shut up once I’ve tried to explain She’s driving me insane
She won’t even miss me when she’s gone. But that’s OK with me, I’ll cry later on.
Talk to ya later. Don’t wanna hear it again tonight. I’ll talk to ya later. Just save it for another guy. Oh, talk to ya later. Don’t wanna hear it again tonight. I’ll just, see you around.
Something about Mountain Dew with Chinese Food just hits.
Honk if you remember Pat Paulson.
Mookie Betts is a Silver Slugger Award winner for the fourth time with the Dodgers and seventh time in his career.
Are eggs two bucks a dozen yet?
The Bears have released veteran G Nate Davis, who they shopped prior to the trade deadline. He started 13 times over the last two seasons for them.
Have you not turned the heat on in your house yet? Let us know in the comments.
I did it. I made it not rain. I bought new wiper blades. Sorrey!
Baylor Scheierman impresses in his G-League debut.
Halloween candy at only 33% off, CVS? That’s not gonna cut it. Fifty!
It’s gonna be funny when Surgeon General RFK throws the ‘celebrity’ callers/change counters in the Guantanamo Bay Weight Loss Camp.
News Item: The Ground Round restaurant returning to Massachusetts.
Best bet for the weekend: McVay outduels Mayo on short rest.
No, I don’t think I will.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Heard it in a love song. Can’t be wrong.
Bianca de la Garza staying hydrated at her book release party.
No way that wasn’t an illegal screen no matter what Marc Davis and whatever Knicks or Nets fans were reviewing the play from New York thought. Shameful.
The game was over as soon as the Dodgers tied it with that five-run outburst. Falling behind for a few minutes was just a minor bump in the road. Some of you know nothing about momentum and body language and it shows
Halloween happens every time The NY Jets play.
The Pivetta qualifying offer makes perfect sense. On Bizarro World!
Lamelo Ball looks like emo John Oates.
Cakes are cooking for Johnny Rivers, Joni Mitchell, Alex Ribeiro, David Petraeus, Christopher Knight, Liam Ó Maonlaí, Calvin Borel, Andre Hastings, Emily Lesueur, Dan Houser, Yunjin Kim, Kris Benson, Tarek Salah, Marcus Luttrell, Mark Philippoussis, Mike Commodore, Will Demps, Adam Devine, Elsa Hosk, Courtney Marie Andrews, and Lorde.
The only reason Gabrielle Starr wanted to get to the press box was so she could literally look down on people instead of just figuratively.
I’m gonna glaze Wemby when he’s playing like this in May Not October.
Alley-oops from the floor? Ok, Ja! Ok!
Hey Gang of immortals, this Week’s phrase That pays is, “Sal, It’s a sports Bonanza.”
Red Line Reminder: November 5-10 Shuttle buses replace service between Broadway & North Quincy for track work. Commuter Rail will be fare-free between South Station & Braintree.
I’m sorry. . .who exactly has been disrespecting Tom Brady?
Absolutely stacked country new music friday last wk.
Ordway’s way of saying stuff like he’s smart but being a gigantic dummy is infuriating.
Paul Pierce’s wheelchair thought Mahomes needing two people to help him off the field was ridiculous.
I was seriously considering Switching to Rich. Alas.
Drake Maye is tall. Got a big arm.
News Item: Australian breakdancer Raygun announces retirement following viral performance at Paris Olympics.
The Bruins aren’t a .500 team.
Oh sure. Like Jason Kelce never called Travis a faggot.
She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton back in 1965. She had legs that never ended, I was halfway paralyzed. She was tall and cool and pretty, and she dressed as black as coal. If she asked me to, I’d murder, I would gladly lose my soul.
Now I lie in bed and think of her. Sometimes I even weep. Then I dream of her behind the wall of sleep.
Gerrit Cole is the mentally weakest ‘Ace’ since Roger Clemens.
I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea.
Honk if you remember Jeanne Zelasko.
Michael Hurley looks like a Rob Ninkovich you bought off Temu.
Run, Bobby Dalbec! Be free!
Florida has announced that it won’t be making a head coaching change and is sticking with Billy Napier.
Bucs, you should have gone for two.
I bet they’re really going to boo the next time the Warriors play in Boston.
Best bet for the weekend: Hunter Henry being dependable.
(Stick tap Old Friend Miz)
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The dark side’s coming now, nothing is real. She’ll never know just how I feel.
And happy birthday to the first supermodel, England’s Own Jean Shrimpton. Here seen in a 1965 photo.
My colonoscopy you ask? It went fine. As healthy and pink as Kevin ‘The Hammer’ McNamee!
Monday was really more a Sports Syzygy than a Sports Equinox. IMO.
Guys, here’s some inside info, Patriots media has been getting pizza for decades. Usually on Wednesdays. Only in season.
That Freeman cat has to be the odds-on favorite to win World Series MVP.
No pressure Bruins, but there are hundreds of young ladies on social media who have tied their mental well-being to your win/loss record.
I just read Taylor Mathis for the articles.
I’m not sure it’s fair or ethical for Shams to use his contacts in the ISI to break NBA news.
Imagine running someone over and getting to grift via Vanity Fair. White bitches have the easiest life.
Cakes are cooking for Grace Slick, Otis Williams, Henry Winkler, Timothy B. Schmit, Harry Hamlin, Charles Martin Smith, Mario Testino, Shanna Reed, Kevin Pollak, Danny Tartabull, Mark Portugal, Michael Beach, Gavin Rossdale, Quin Snyder, TY Detmer, Masanori Hikichi, Snow, Ben Bailey, Dino Philyaw, James Pedro, Nia Long, Patrice Tardif, Ian Snell, Ivanka Trump, Trent Edwards, Thomas Morgenstern, Ashley Graham, Nastia Liukin, Marcus Mariota, and Cale Makar.
Headline: Cryptobros Con Curvaceous Clod
Mel Brooks is going to outlive everyone who was in his movies.
I think if they give Aaron Boone a few more years he’ll finally figure it out.
Did you guys hear Pritchard played pick up with some random kid?
The WNBA going to a seven game finals next season really opens up the field for some devastating knee injuries.
Red Line Update: This delay has cleared.
A player who drives in 100 runs in a season will drive in runs in 60-61 separate games, on average. On the other hand, a player who scores 100 runs in a season will score a run in about 75 games, on average.
I really don’t know what I’d do without Doughboy being open 24 hours. We must protect that establishment at all costs.
Taylor Mathis went full Allbright.
Hey gang of malignant narcissists! This week Phrase that Pay is, “Do our WORD mean anything anymore?”
Just had an EPIC 30 minute ride with my son. Nice back and forth. He started with someone named Playboy Carti(not a fan). I countered w/Biggy. He went Lil Uzi (a fan), I went Tu PAC. He came back with Future(a fan). I closed him out with Ice Cube.
Rumor: Jerod Mayo is being brought on as Kirk Minihane’s new producer.
After Henson replaced him against Notre Dame, Tom put the lyrics to Crash Into Me in his AOL away message.
I hate gay halloween what do you mean you’re a complete piece of shit?!?
Cashman having the job for life is kinda wild. I mean I would have been fine letting Bill have it for life, but how do the Yankees keep a GM that hasn’t won in 15 years?
Tony Brothers should never officiate another game ever again.
I bet I would be the best-looking dude at my high school reunion if they had bothered to invite me to it which they did not.
Where are all the Ted Sarandis voters, caller?
Am I the only person who likes Rockstar’s game design, even if it is outdated? I play Rockstar games for their specific experience, which no other developer does for me. GTA. Bully. Red Dead. You play them for the Rockstar experience.
I miss Taylor’s terrible gambling advice. And her boobs.
Look at us baby, up all night. Tearing our love apart. Aren’t we the same two people Who lived through years in the dark?
Every time I try to walk away. Something makes me turn around and stay. And I can’t tell you why.
All the best criminals hire professionals to dispose of evidence 18 months after the crime in full view of the public.
Fun Fact: the world population reached three billion in 1960.
No, because it’s a random Tuesday night and I’m sobbing thinking about how the Celtics arguably needed to trade Marcus Smart to ultimately go on and win the Championship, but it just seems so unfair he couldn’t be there to win one with them.
The vampire bat has a scary name but does much good, eating up to twice its weight in vampires every year.
Dudes don’t have birthday weeks.
Do you think someone could solve the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist if they increased the reward money to, say, fifty times the current amount?
Honk if you remember The Rumble in the Jungle.
News Item: Red Sox hiring Rays director of predictive modeling Taylor Smith to a high-ranking front office role, likely as an assistant GM. Gas up the duckboats, boys!
Bert Breer thinks I’m using ‘I’ and ‘me’ too much this column.
Please get up, Taylor Hendricks.
Every Yankee fan looks like the third drawing in the ‘evolution of man’ procession.
Was someone clamoring for a Gladiator sequel?
Best bet for the weekend: you gaining an hour of sleep.
Happy Halloween from Morgan Fairchild.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Don’t you want somebody to love? Don’t you need somebody to love? Wouldn’t you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love.
And happy birthday to French actress and model Clémence Poésy.
Celebrities expected to be in attendance for the Celtics season-opener included Jeannine Russell, The Duke & Duchess of Athol, Donnie Wahlberg, Shaboozey, Benson Boone, Kai Cenat, Ron Catamount Muskmelon, 21 Savage, Metro Boomin, MBTA Flailin, Gord Marley, A$AP Ferg, Ja’Whaun Bentley, Davon Godchaux, Yung Lil Young, Zeppo Wahlberg, Shukri Wight, the cast of ‘Rescue: Hi-Surf’, and Nibi the Educational Beaver.
Felger should make “Tony, I Think You Had Something You Wanted to Say First?” a weekly feature.
Mookie needed 1927 Yankees Murderers Row protection to break out of his playoff blues.
Albuterol is still the best way to avoid wheezing a lot of bed.
The wax figure on the Liberty Mutual ads is by far the worst iteration of this series.
Who said D-Hop?
Looking forward to having the Dugie rally at City Hall if the Yankees win.
Cakes are cooking for Ang Lee, Dwight Yoakam, Weird Al Yankovic, Doug Flutie, Mike Tomczak, Al Leiter, Kevin Henry, Sanjay Gupta, Keith Van Horn, Cat Deeley, Ryan Reynolds, Pedro Liriano, Izabel Goulart, Emelia Clarke, Leah Van Dale, Fábio Tavares, Margaret Qualley, and Nick Bosa
Precious Achiuwa sounds like the name of a fat Lhasa Apso.
Lynx got jobbed.
Hey gang of paranormal pursuers! This week’s Phrase That Pays is, “To see the ghost, you must first believe in the ghost.”
Stammertime, welcome to Smashville.
Did TNT cut away to commercial because Paul Pierce had floated up into the TD Garden rafters too?
Honey Flower Dan Cong (also called Phoenix Mountain Oolong) is the best tea and it has been unfindable for months and it appears it has come back into stock in the US and is also way less expensive than it was last year. Big win for me.
Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Forest Hills.
LeBron James the Younger debuting to play with his father was one of the most heartwarming painfully forced moments you’ll ever see.
Mercury Morris was the only thing stopping the Chiefs from going undefeated.
Bill Belichick was never 1-6. Bill Belichick never described his own team as “soft.” Bill Belichick never got the pass Jerod Mayo is getting right now. Mayo at 1-6 is treated better than Belichick was at 6-1.
Cousy is a cvnt hair away from being Jimmy Carter.
“Fernandomania” was a blast for baseball fans. Farewell to a Dodgers legend.
Charismatic megafauna!
Ime Udoka would have been at the banner raising if he knew white Cooz was gonna be there! What?
I see people saying that the Dodgers/Yankees series will get great TV ratings. Is that your belief? Because I’m skeptical. Put the two hardest teams in baseball to root for head-to-head, you really think that will draw big numbers?
Ridin’ in the bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed, yeah. Couldn’t find a seat so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back/
It was smellin’ like a locker room, There was junk all over the floor. We’re already packed in like sardines, But we’re stoppin’ to pick up more, look out!
Another one rides the bus, another one rides the bus, Another comes on and another comes on, Another one rides the bus; Hey, he’s gonna sit by you, another one rides the bus.
Retire? Are you kidding? The Sultan of Stat would never let down his loyal subjects (that’d be you and math).
Fun Fact: Entitled Town has an IMDB Page.
The Patriots are missing Rhamondre Stevenson, Layden Robinson, Ja’Lynn Polk and Curtis Jacobs from today’s practice Vederian Lowe returned, but looked limited. Keion White also looked limited.
Honk if you waited in line when the iPod was released.
Steve Kerr told TNT to go to commercial.
Imagine hitching your wagon to Mayo’s movable North star.
The Yankees installing Boone as manager for life is kinda weird. Like if the Red Sox had won the 2003 ALCS and then made Trot Nixon manager.
Clams hurt themselves posing with the WNBA trophy? Smdh.
Best bet for the weekend: the Fighting Irish over the Fightin’ Seabees.
It does always come back to baseball, Colin and Nick.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Mayo on the hot seat?
And a happy birthday to Brazilian fashion model Izabel Goulart.
Being a Patriots captain is like being the drummer for Spinal Tap.
‘Look What You Made Me Do’ after a Celtics win hits hard. The most disrespected Champions of all time are on a mission this year. I can’t wait.
Bruins: 41-41 here we come?
I know I’m in the super minority, but AVP had a good day Sunday- and while the discord today is typical, it’s also frivolous.
Cakes are cooking for Bob Weir, David Zucker, Falcão, Sue Pedersen, Tony Carey, Melissa Belote, Roger Phegley, Tim Robbins, Gary Kemp, Bob Mould, Val Skinner, Billy Taylor, Durga McBroom, Flea, Missy Hyatt, German Titov, Tom Tolbert, Joe Murphy, Wendy Wilson, Chad Grey, Darius Kasparaitis, Jermaine Lewis, Paul Kariya, Kellie Martin, John Mayer, Mary Halvorson, Sue Bird, Bryce Harper, and Naomi Osaka.
A nice tribute to Johnny and the other one by the Blue Jackets.
Brian Burns is showing why the Rams were willing to give up two first-round picks for him a few years ago. A massive talent.
Imagine if you had an ambidextrous schizophrenic pitcher? It would be like having two players for the price of one.
Why did I even buy a motorcycle off Temu?
The worst Boston free-agent walk-away since Carlton Fisk? Dave Goucher.
The advertising budgets for some of these Big Pharma psychosomatic drug commercials is outrageous.
Get your plants and veggies in before Thursday.
Do the Jaguars have a deeply discounted season ticket program for pretend bisexuals?
Hey Six Sigma gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “People who try & place catchy names on any process show they really aren’t doing shit.”
Orange Line Reminder: Service has resumed between North Station and Back Bay. Shuttle Buses will operate between Back Bay and Forest Hills through Oct 20. Commuter Rail alternates are available.
It will never not be funny to me that my phone autocorrects Brissett to brisket, no matter how many times I type it. #lol
My toxic trait is that I keep sleeping with my window open because I love the cold but get mad when I wake up with my sinuses in absolute shambles.
You can see the mornin’, but I can see the light Try, try, try, let it ride While you’ve been out runnin’, I’ve been waitin’ half the night Try, try, try, let it ride
And would you cry if I told you that I lied And would you say goodbye, or would you let it ride? And would you cry if I told you that I lied And would you say goodbye, or would you let it ride?
Joe Murray runs his own show but has to do his own headlines too. That’s hardcore, man. Props to you brother.
Ethel is such a hot name.
“Three Kings” ran in one big theater. We had a one-night premiere screening of “Drive Me Crazy”. I was in HELL that night. We had “American Beauty” in one theater, “Random Hearts” in one theater & opened “Fight Club” in one of our big theaters. We had to swap “Random Hearts.”
The Texans could have showed up wearing their lettermen jackets and still won.
They’re not even gonna try to fix the Trop with clear plastic sheeting and a whole mess of Flex Seal?
Honk if you remember Baby Jessica.
SF49’ers sign a kicker who could play against the Chiefs on Sunday after his missed playoff kick in January was a reason they played the Chiefs in Super Bowl LVIII.
A Hockey Club sandwich would hit the spot right now.
Peter King says Lamar Jackson calls him “Mr. Peter”. I don’t think that’s the token of respect Fatty thinks it is.
Bruins fandom needs more Laurens.
It would be fun if, when a baseball team fires six coaches, they would be required to file a five-page report on each firing, explaining in detail what it was that that coach did wrong.
If you aren’t sure what a phrase means, maybe hold off on using it.
Best bet for the weekend: Pats depart Wembley as winners.
It’s like Rodgers is the GM!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Takitaki!
BdlG. So Fall-coded. She had a birthday this week too. Or will have one. So mysterious!
Swayman had got his contract signed. Our short, regional nightmare is now over.
Thank God the Patriots made the Maye announcement on Tuesday. It would have been a shame if the Texans didn’t have a full week to prepare.
Be careful out there, Floridian friends.
Peppers has made $34MM in his career and rents an apartment in Braintree? He should be cut for that reason alone.
“Hey, can I ruin your photo?” – ‘Fitzy’
Luis Clemente Tiant Vega; taken from us too soon. Cigars and a crazy wind-up. He was called, ‘El Tiante’, which means, ‘The Tiante.’ Rest in peace, amigo.
Do the Mohegans have a legend about a wily Lynx defeating the Sun? Maybe they should.
It’s not Giancarlo’s fault! Bob Costas is basically what everyone always said Joe Buck is.
So the Manning’s spent time wondering if Matt Patricia had a special pencil that worked on a laminated play sheet? Another chess move by Bill.
Cakes are cooking for Nona Hendryx, Jackson Browne, Brian Downing, Richard Chaves, Sharon Osbourne, Tony Shalhoub, James Fearnley, John O’Hurley, Scott Bakula, Don Garber, Ini Kamoze, Michael Paré, Mike Singletary, Trevor Matich, Guillermo del Toro, Dwayne Sabb, Polly Jean Harvey, Annika Sorenstam, Kenny Anderson, Brandon Pollard, Dexter McCleon, Steve Burns, Sean Lennon, Nick Swardson, Brian Roberts, Henrik Zetterberg, Marie Kondo, Jacob Batalon, and Ben Shelton.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Wood Island.
I just got beeped at in drive thru line at Doughboy. It’s rather concerning if the general public no longer understands the concept of a drive thru line.
It’s almost like choosing as Belichick’s heir apparent a man whose post-playing career talent ceiling is ‘casino greeter at Plainridge’ was a bad idea.
Veal Parm is the greatest of Parms for Subs.
Hey gang of incurable romantics, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Everyone knows that the portion of the brain used for critical thinking is markedly less developed in women, honey.”
I’m fine with it not being tonight and surprised Goldberg wasn’t getting that Saudi check versus Gunther, but you gotta pull the trigger on Sami, Great matches with Gunther, Cody, Roman all as challenger. The Sami Hogan shit is corny. Put the belt on him in the next 12 months
It’s 2024, don’t get offended if I tell you i won’t eat your dish made with Rao’s or Ragu jarred sauce. it’s not that serious. I don’t like it, you cannot change my mind. I am sure you are a wonderful cook. it’s not personal
First they came for William Bendetson, and I said nothing…
Someone should ask Mayo if he knows he can make these decisions without consulting the press.
I have a peck of apples to eat from last weekend!
What do you call “imposter syndrome” when it’s not a syndrome?
Tasing is lame. Just shoot him.
Vegans and people from Texas; They’re going to shoehorn that fact into every conversation in any way that they can.
Look, he’s crawling up my wall. Black and hairy, very small. Now he’s up above my head. Hanging by a little thread.
Boris the spider. Boris the spider.
Now he’s dropped on to the floor Heading for the bedroom door. Maybe he’s as scared as me. Where’s he gone now, I can’t see.
Boris the spider. Boris the spider.
Just when I thought D daddy bald daddy NBA champion daddy White couldn’t be any cooler. I need this hoodie of him tucking in Tatum’s best friend the Larry O’Brien Trophy into bed immediately
The world does need Rat Shovelers.
The Kraft’s have their team back. It’s an awful, irrelevant team, but hey, it’s theirs!
Honk if you remember Dean Smith.
When the Red Wings fans throw an octopus onto the ice, the team either needs to have a player leave the ice or they get called for a too many men penalty.
Joe Kelly is the modern Moe Drabowsky.
Yaaaaa Sully … Mayo’s got a plan, kid, yaaaaaaaaa!
A: Nothing, she’s already been told twice.
Few things are more annoying than when the referees constantly delay the game by making unnecessary “Delay of Game” calls. Hold up the game 20 seconds because the snap was a half-second late.
Drake Maye’s lifelong dream is about to come true and Greg Dickerson thinks he should be depressed.
Best bet for the weekend: someone earns their True Yankee pinstripes.
Where did Mayo get these captain’s patches, Needful Things?
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Creepy, crawly, creepy creepy crawly crawly.
Happy Birthday to The L Word actress Erin Daniels.
Too many, too soon, no more Super Sky Points please!
It’s okay, Pete Rose only bet on himself to make 84.
Like two minutes into his first game and I’m already sick of all the Bruins skirts calling Zadorov, “Zaddy.”
WHO WANTS TO FAWCETT MUTOMBO!?
Jerod Mayo doesn’t have a plan, “Eliot and I” have a plan. That rat fuck mentions “Elliot” more than E.T.
For what it’s worth, I hoped that the Red Sox won Game 162 if only so Joe Castiglione can call a win in his final game. Call me sentimental, but that matters more to me than a draft pick.
Those 30 million Pete Rose-signed baseballs just went up $.03 in value.
Have to wonder if Chris Sale’s psychosomatic back spasms are a result of guilt surfacing from his subconscious about how much money he’s stolen.
Cakes are cooking for Dick Barnett, Don McLean, Skip Konte, Avery Brooks, Donna Karan, Annie Liebovitz, Michael Rutherford, Bill Elliott, Sting, Lorraine Bracco, Philip Oakey, Gordie Roberts, Glenn Anderson, Mark Rypien, Sheila Echols, Floyd “Bud” Gaugh, Eddie Guardado, Kelly Ripa, Tiffany, Aaron McKie, Lene Nystrøm, Paul Teutul Jr, Tyson Chandler, Phil Kessel, Ricky Stenhouse Jr, and Brittany Howard.
This postseason, MLB should replace John Smoltz with Tom Hardy doing the Bane voice for one inning and *not* explain it at all, just having him call the game straight up.
I still have no fucking clue what Dirty Water TV actually is. But I love that they only hire shameless whores.
AHL jobbers taking runs at real NHL players in fake games. Smdh.
Notice that a hurricane never *moves* toward land, or *races* toward land; they always *barrel.* Not sure how that became the go-to word.
Green Line Update: Shuttle buses will continue to replace service today between North Station and Medford/Tufts & Union Sq. Union Sq. riders can use bus routes 86, 87, or 91 to connect to shuttles or the Orange Line.
With all the love shown to Joe Castiglione this year, you’d think WEEI’s ratings would be better than they are.
Joey Slye could be your kicker for the next 10 years…
Hey gang of useless Hufflepuffs, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Wands up tonight my fellow Potterheads.”
RC-celeb, people glom on to anything for a shred of notoriety. Radio call-in guest has to be lower than starring in an anal warts cream commercial.
Hard to believe Wakey has been gone a year now.
Orange Line: Trains may travel at reduced speeds or stand by at stations while maintenance personnel conduct track inspections near Haymarket.
Does anyone know how old Alabama WR Ryan Williams is?
Shohei this year might be a Level-1 MVP season, whereas Dick Groat in 1960 or Jim Konstanty in 1950 are like. ..well, they had to give the award to somebody, I guess. Level 10 MVPs.
Everyone hated ESPN’s Christian Yelich in-game interview.
Every time I see bicyclists while driving now, I think of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. They should still be here.
Wait, actors have imposter syndrome? Isn’t that their job?
NESN ‘borrowed’ the MSG feed to honor Sam Rosen who has been calling games since 1984 and is retiring at the end of the season you clueless slob. At least that what I heard!
In a couple of days we should learn how much his injury settlement lowered Armon Watts’ cap number of $2,169,765.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia has big shoes to fill in taking over for Jeff Trundy as manager of the Falmouth Commodores in the Cape Cod Baseball League next summer.
No, you give me $5!
Dame Maggie Smith, RIP. Always thought she was the Penguin in The Blues Brothers but that was Kathleen Freeman.
Dirty Water TV is like the early ‘90’s Simpsons writers’ room for braindead whores.
Jerod Mayo says it is “definitely under consideration” that RB Antonio Gibson starts over Rhamondre Stevenson on Sunday after Stevenson has fumbled in each of the first four games.
Seventy-three men sailed up From the San Francisco Bay. Rolled off of their ship, and here’s what they had to say; “We’re callin’ everyone to ride along to another shore. We can laugh our lives away and be free once more.”
But no one heard them callin’ No one came at all. ‘Cause they were too busy watchin’ those old raindrops fall. As a storm was blowin’ out on the peaceful sea, Seventy-three men sailing off to history
Ride, captain ride upon your mystery ship. Be amazed at the friends you have here on your trip. Ride captain ride upon your mystery ship. On your way to a world that others might have missed.
I was blessed to see Addams Family Values on tv. Raul Julia was a master actor. I miss him so much.
Castiglione has been a leading Clemens propagandist for decades.
I can’t believe they went to a mini pride rally and a WNBA Playoff game broke out!
Every white dude ends up looking like a lesbian eventually.
ESPN keeping Kendrick Perkins over Zach Lowe might be worse than when the Sixers kept Tobias Harris over Jimmy Butler.
Honk if you remember Steve Sabol.
Can October be scripted? It’s tempting to say yes, but I say no.
Had a dream last night that DeVonta Smith was on the New England Patriots. No idea what year it was.
Jerry Tarkanian must be spinning in his grave seeing UNLV failing to pay players.
“At least Rashee Rice went out doing what he loved. Ending a drive with a horrible collision and immediately leaving the scene.” -Brandon Carney
Does Boston College play John Ashcroft’s ‘Let the Eagle Soar’ after football games? Well they should.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reminds me of baseball. There were the awful kids who were there for the wrong reasons, and there was Charlie, who just loved candy. Maybe it’s childish, but baseball needs owners who are Charlie’s, not Veruca Salt’s & Mike TeaVee’s.
Is ‘Center’ an important position in football? Because it sounds important.
Red sox may or may not increase payroll, may or may not increase ticket prices, may or may not miss the playoffs again next season. Super. Good press conference.
A happy Rosh Hashanah to all my friends who celebrate.
Spike Lee pretend to be a Liberty fan now?
Best bet for the weekend: Pats going to get their teeth kicked in by a man named ‘Snoop’.
Less than ideal.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Come And Get Your Love.
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