The 15

If you have no backup quarterbacks, you really don’t have any backup quarterbacks.

Anyone that booed Mookie Betts at Fenway should get the bum’s rush out the door and be told never to return.

Is all Bradford does now is guilt people into uncomfortably posing with his wrinkled shirts?

The US Navy has had an air element since 1911. The Naval Acadamy football squadron should follow suit.

Oh great, we’ve reached the night where Dave O’Brien awkwardly congratulates kids on having cancer.

Cakes are cooking for Robert Crumb, Peggy Lipton, Lewis Black, Robert Parish, Butch Johnson, Michael Chiklis, Cameron Diaz, Shaun Alexander, Andy Roddick, and Bebe Rexha.

News Item: Publix says it will no longer make hurricane themed cakes due to sensitivity concerns. Sad.

Bengals QB Joe Burrow is back for practice.

It’s OK, guys—Chris Sale is gonna take full responsibility and promise to do better next time!

Mookie Betts was the Dodgers’ last chance on Saturday, Alex Verdugo was Boston’s on Sunday. Fitting.

Does the Ashoka theme feature a mournful fiddle? Asking for Kenny Burns.

I wonder if Hank Gathers would’ve taken advantage of the gather step. Back when he played, that was a travel.

I’m forever a #TeamPhysicalMedia guy. But there’s a lotta quality flicks for just a fin* on the ‘book store outta fucking control’ streamer. [*- (urban) denotes $5 ]

Hey gang of baseball poets, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Pouring in Boston / sky is crying because Mookie is here as a Dodger.”

Bob Barker. 99 years. Amazing longevity. Did he die yodeling off a cliff?

I’m not looking forward to the discourse on Patriots Twitter when Tyquan Thornton gets traded to the Steelers for a conditional 5th rounder in a few days.

Jarren Duran, out for the remainder of the season due to false hustle.

The Brattle Street entrance to Harvard Station is temporarily closed due to ongoing Fire Department activity in the area.

Morey Hershgordon isn’t real and he cannot hurt you.

I wonder if any ex-pro athlete has ever turned down a gambling app or Subway sponsorship opportunity.

I’m always in the mood for crab rangoons.

A long time between season-opening road wins, UMass football. Nice job.

Windham Rotunda? That’s a hotel name. Rest in peace.

‘Has the persona of an Anti-Zionist Muhammad Ali’ was on all of Len Bias’s scouting reports.

Super. Blue. Moon.

Last week’s debate was like a D&D dungeon party where everyone rolled a 3 charisma.

John and Mitchy were gettin’ kind of itchy
Just to leave the folk music behind.
Zal and Denny workin’ for a penny
Tryin’ to get a fish on the line.
In a coffee house Sebastian sat
And after every number
They’d pass the hat.
McGuinn and McGuire just a-gettin’ higher
In L.A., you know where that’s at.
And no one’s gettin’ fat except Mama Cass.

Red Sox fans’ overwhelming (and justified) nastiness towards management for trading Mookie Betts makes me wish Twitter existed in 1919 when they got rid of The Babe.

Fun Fact: Ted Williams, whose birthday is today, could fly high-performance fighter jets, clout improbably long home runs, see the rotation of a baseball, and detect an ounce difference in the weight of a baseball bat, but nonetheless could not tell you whether the singer in a song by The Cars was Ric Ocasek, or Benjamin Orr!

All accomplishment comes with a side helping of harsh criticism.

The Galactic Empire apparently had a dress code Moff that forbade women to wear tight pants.

The Dodgers fix dudes left and right with grips while the Sox can’t even manage a bullpen correctly.

Honk if you remember ENIAC.

Three hours after the deadline, the Ravens, Bucs, Broncos and Raiders still have not announced their roster moves. It’s beyond ridiculous.

Me Winning Time isn’t. You do.

Hummus is delicious!

Don’t all you feel a little bit like a silly goose over the whole Patriots players released thing now?

best bet for the weekend: Auburn. Sorry, MinuteCats.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I saw her again last night.