The 15

There is only one word to describe Bergeron on the ice: winner. He’s won on every level you can imagine.

A supermax contract will pay for a lot of sick handlez lessons. Just sayin’.

With the start of training camps we are now back to where there will be transaction wires on Saturdays.

Bronny Jim. Shades of Henry Gathers. Simpler times Danny. Get well soon.

Does Australia have weather bunnies? Weather roos? Weather wallabys?

Since Twitter’s old logo was named after Larry Bird, I assume the rebranded one will be named after Xavier McDaniel.

Fred McGriff. He had a nickname.

Cakes are cooking for Bobby Wadkins, Dorothy Hamill, Wayne Grady, Gary Cherone, Sandra Bullock, Jason Statham, Joe Smith, Eric Westrum, Joe Sarno, Delonte West, and Taylor Momsen.

People are ready to blow their fucking brains out when Belichick brings Patricia and Judge back but cream their shorts when the same lazy media blowhards take turns hiring each other at their fake publications.

Go breath in the woods, Conor.

New Hall of Famer Scott Rolen played in front of the best, the friendliest, and the politest fans in all of MLB! And also for the Phillies.

Which Bruin will next wear the C?

Bills won’t have dynamic returner Nyheim Hines after he suffered serious injuries in a jet ski accident.

Blue Line Update: The Wire Car is clear at this time.

Is there anyone not the bussin’ Kendra Middleton at 98.5 who isn’t a total fucking mongoloid?

Diego Stick-Bundle. LB, Navy.

Oppenheimer followed by Frank Pepe’s is a damn near perfect night.

Imagine driving to Sandwich for the Zip Trip only to find they sent Lemanowicz in place of Shiri.

Bill, it’s heardahim, not Hurdahim. Get it right.

Soccer post: I’m not a fan of the Spanish Women’s World Cup team using first names on the backs of their shirts. I now return you to your regularly scheduled sleep.

Hey gang of camp-goers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The Running of the Jorts.”

Do we know if it was a Kawasaki name brand Jet Ski, or some other type of personal watercraft that hit Ny Hines?

Is LeBron gonna switch to Bo Kimble’s number and shoot a free throw with his eyes closed?

I ate at a place called Leon’s in Barrington a couple of weeks ago. They cured their own bacon. It was silly good.

How hard is it to understand the NFL’s “don’t bet on football games” rule?

The faster we’re falling
We’re stopping and stalling
We’re running in circles again
Just as things were looking up
You said it wasn’t good enough
But still, we’re trying one more time.

Well maybe we’re just trying too hard
When really, it’s closer than it is too far.

The sheer magnitude of the landscape bewildering to the league is beyond the pale of comprehensive.

Honk if you remember gypsy moth caterpillars.

Besides rooting for injuries, my non-Patriot training camp wish is for the Bills to cut Hamlin.

Kiké Hernandez traded to the Dodgers.

Related, I foresee having to use the é much less now.

Why should I check in on my elderly neighbors? They are clearly smart and adaptive enough to have lived long enough to become elderly in the first place.

Congrats on the British open win, but Brian Harman would drive me crazy to be paired with. Waggle one more time, buddy.

Bet you didn’t have “run into a triple play on a routine fly ball” on the ol’ Red Sox bingo card.

Surfer Girl and Almost-a-Coach. Together again at last for the first time.

I’ve often said jet skis are nearly as dangerous as catamarans.

Serving smoked meats for the opening of training camp? Wouldn’t crepes have better? What?

Tony Dom Bennett. He liked lands that are great. RIP.

People throwing shade at Bergeron for only winning one Championship who are three orders of magnitude less successful that him will never not be funny.

X?

Best bet for the weekend: Duxbury crossovers and cutouts closed.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, @transientexist, BSMW poster Brian in WA, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. There’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you.