The 15

If the New York Times had a sports section prior to Monday, I think I would have heard about it.

Why haven’t the three-time Isobel Cup winning The Boston Pride publicly congratulated the Free Jacks?

It’s that time of the All Star break where the pitchers are ahead of the hitters.

I’ve had Electric Touch on repeat for the past two days.

I’m hearing that Red Sox 1st round pick, Kyle Teel, had a less than arousing 24 at-bat stint in the Cape Cod League. Flaccid, even.

The USWNT feels like it has two generations bridged together, which reminded me that we used to have some grades merged together growing up, like a “Grade 3/4 split”… anyone else have this? seems like a wild concept.

Cakes are cooking for Richard Simmons, Cheryl Ladd, Mel Harris, Robin Wilson, Kristi Yamaguchi, Travis Best, Brock Lesnar, Michelle Rodriguez, and Inbee Park.

very few can make a fire boom bap beat with no samples.

We need – BASEBALL needs – David Ortiz interviewing Elly De La Cruz. It would be the absolute highlight of the All-Star Game.

Your Boston Bruins All-Centennial Team Selection Committee: Ty Anderson, 98.5 The Sports Hub, Dale Arnold, Retired NESN Broadcaster, Amalie Benjamin, NHL.com, John Buccigross, ESPN, Mick Colageo, The Standard-Times, Steve Conroy, Boston Herald, Kevin Paul Dupont, Boston Globe, Jack Edwards, NESN, Mike “Doc” Emrick, Retired Broadcaster, Naoko Funayama, WCVB, Steve Garabedian, NESN, Karen Guregian, MassLive.com, Joe Haggerty, Bruins Beat Reporter, Heidi Holland, Boston Bruins, Richard Johnson, The Sports Museum, Joe McDonald, Bruins Beat Reporter, Scott McLaughlin, WEEI, Rose Mirakian-Wheeler, NESN, Jimmy Murphy, Boston Hockey Now, Matt Porter, Boston Globe, Conor Ryan, Boston.com, Season Ticket Holder Council, Boston Bruins, Fluto Shinzawa, The Athletic, Harry Sinden, Boston Bruins, Judd Sirott, 98.5 The Sports Hub, Dave Stubbs, NHL.com, Rusty Sullivan, The Sports Museum, Kathryn Tappen, TNT, Kevin Weekes, ESPN/NHLN, and Brian Zechello, NESN. Rexy, Conor, Old Friend Lefty and Shukri were snubbed.

The first thing they teach you in rehab is to attempt to reverse any accountability you’ve taken. Well played, Huggins.

Obscene bumper stickers on cars are beyond unnecessary. Children can read, set a good example.

The Immaculate Grid is the thing I’ve been unknowingly preparing for all my life.

Bourque couldn’t deliver the chip so he doesn’t get his flowers or riz.

Just in case you at home are having a hard time following the rules of the HR derby, don’t worry, so are we, too, here in the press box.

Saying hi y’all in New England should get you locked up.

Hey gang raised by two loving parents, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Maybe he’s metal bat made”.

Tweeting out free agent renouncements is always fun, because people have such vivid, and often great, memories of some of the players being renounced. But nothing will ever top tweeting out when the Kings renounced the draft rights to Dejan Bodiroga. That whole day was hilarious.

MBTA Swampscott Lot is full. Park at Swampscott HS with a free shuttle to the Station.

Shohei Ohtani in the All-Star Game on the anniversary of Babe Ruth’s debut? You can’t make this romantic-about-baseball stuff up.

Darrelle Revis Moss’d Asante Samuel.

A random little thing I love in baseball is when someone hits a weak pop-up and is so mad at himself for missing the pitch he slams down the bat.

Sunkist Fruit Gems!

What do you mean Britney should’t control her own finances? Did she give Xander Bogaerts an 11 year, 280 million contract?

Always a shame when the Bills owner’s kid gets bounced from a Grand Slam.

Looking forward to director Joseph Kosinski’s Formula One movie, Apex. Wheels open, man!

Hoodie not being aggro with DHop, Clones?

If Ray Bourque is underappreciated as a defenseman locally, it’s probably due to lingering embarrassment from that ill-advised Avalanche Stanley Cup parade.

“Rusty Sullivan” sounds like something DJ Bean pays for in the bathroom of a Southie bar.

Megan Rapinoe Is Furious With Legendary Comedian Dave Chappelle.

Biggest takeaway from the Bourne franchise is you’d think every once in a while he’d wear a hat or something.

Should the Sox be buyers at the trade deadline? Sellers? Some of both? Let us know in the comments.

Squirrels are cute until they get in your attic and fuck everything up.

Was so a real no-hitter.

Maybe Pat Fitzgerald can go coach hoops at West Virginia, Bob Huggins then goes to Northwestern. All fix!

Alexi Lalas going to be an absolute treat during the Women’s World Cup.

I’ve lost my mind
On what I’d find
And all of the pressure that I left behind
On Allison Road.

Fools in the rain
If the sun gets through
Fires in the heaven of the eyes I knew
On Allison Road.

ATTN Ocean State beachgoers, please be advised: multiple Portuguese Man-of-War (Physalia physalis) were spotted at Scarborough, Roger Wheeler, + East Matunuck State Beaches this week.

Honk if you remember the Good Humor Toasted Almond Bar.

DVOA sounds made up.

“Bob Huggins” is the name DJ Bean uses when he gives out Rusty Sullivans.

Clean your filthy mirror, then take your selfies.

Jeff Passan is really odd-looking. He’s like a ventriloquist’s dummy from the 1950’s.

Larry Bird made $24.07 million in salary during his 13-year NBA career. 53 players are already set to make more than that in this coming season alone.

Aretha Franklin had a Teddy Ballgame last will & testament?

Best bet for the weekend: flood waters receding.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. All last summer, in case you don’t recall; I was yours and you were mine, forget it all.