The 15

Did you get here from Threads? You did not get here from Threads.

Max Kellerman, Keyshawn Johnson, Jeff Van Gundy, Jalen Rose, LaPhonso Ellis, Suzy Kolber, Chris Chelios, Joon Lee, Rob Ninkovich, Neil Everett, Jay Williams, Steve Young, Todd McShay, Jason Fitz, Matt Hasselbeck, Ashley Brewer, David Pollack, Nick Friedell, Andre Ward, Doug Kezirian, and Gene Wojciechowski are all free agents.

Is Kevin Shattenkirk Shatty, or Kirky?

LJ Sandwich’s Teal Party > Michael Rubin’s White Party

Did Grant Williams have a Weird Celtics Twitter wacky nickname? Aloha, Grant Williams.

Brayan Bello is the coolest kid you ever saw on the mound. I’m stumping for him to be nicknamed Cool Baby Bello. Or Coolbaby, if you prefer.

The elements tried to cancel the event. He beat the elements. The competition tried to take his crown. He beat the competition. 62 hot dogs eaten. An 8th straight title and 16th overall. Joseph. Christian. Chestnut. A performance for the ages.

Cakes are cooking for Fred Dryer, George W. Bush, Sylvester Stallone, Brad Park, Shelley Hack, Sultan Rakhmanov, Matt Bahr, Valerie Brisco-Hooks, Lillie Leatherwood, Inspectah Deck, Kevin Hart, Nnamdi Asomugha, and Zion Williamson.

Bruins signed James van Riemsdyk? They’ll be putting the 2013 All-star team on the ice. 

Imagine being extremely excited about being a beat reporter.

We will have to wait for Refuddled McGee to emerge from the ashes, I guess.

News Item: Red Sox outfielder Alex Verdugo feels snubbed after not being selected to the American League All-Star team.

Your New England Revolution have only three losses this season, two occurring in May.

The real losers this summer? Celtics writers.

Bertuzzi should look into hiring that nice Jewish boy to be his new agent.

Scott Baio is a “legendary” actor in the same way that Bigfoot is a “legendary” creature — rarely captured on film over the last few decades.

The syntax changes from Python 2 to Python 3 were definitely a step in the right direction.

Coming this fall: Season 23 of ‘So You Think You Can Shit In Public’!

Orange Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a Train with a mechanical issue at Back Bay.

What happened to The Hockey News? THN used to be a prestigious news source, now it reads like it was written by badly programmed AI. Especially the Bruins team page. What gives?

Hey gang of hard cap enthusiasts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Keith says it hard caps at the 2nd apron. There was no second apron before.”

There’s something so calm and soothing about a summer morning rain.

Fall River is a town.

“Bussin’ With The Boys.” For reals? What, was ‘Too Many Men In My Pants’ already spoken for as a podcast name?

The Confederation of North, Central America and Caribbean Association Football szn.

The Bruins signed a guy named Geekie? this sounds like a setup for a derivative Canadian comedy routine, ‘Who’s the First Line Centre?’ by the duo of Abboot and Costelleh.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue
Dissolve the nerves that have just begun
Listening to Marvin (all night long)
This is the sound of my soul
This is the sound

Always slipping from my hands
Sand’s a time of its own
Take your seaside arms and write the next line
I want the truth to be known.

If travelling along the surface roads to Logan, be sure to being your Eastie Tagalog phrasebook with you.

Cooper Flagg 1 Cam Boozer 0

What a weekend. What a win for Shane van Gisbergen!! Unbelievable job by NASCAR and the city of Chicago pulling this off.

Honk if you remember Friendly’s Wattamelon Roll.

Your commuter school alma mater hasn’t fielded a football team in 25 years so how ’bout you shut your clam about who the UMass Amherst squad will play, Gilligan?

I’m holding out for the Fiddlr app myself.

It’s going to be several days until a still shell-shocked from fireworks and having to watch people barbecuing Scott Kacsmar learns that Aaron Schatz has resigned from Football Outsiders.

Tim Legler’s tan looks real, why do you ask?

Best bet for the weekend: 20th year of Fox 25 Zip Trips, this one to Dedham on Friday!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Mitch Hedberg, BSMW poster Lefty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. These are my salad days. Slowly being eaten away. Just another play for today.