The 15

It was another glorious Evacuation Day yesterday. Hopefully you too are feeling much lighter and refreshed this morning, because it’s time to separate the dingleberries from the actual turds.

This is the strongest Round of 32 field in the long storied March Sadness Tournament history. In three out of the four regions all of the top 8 seeds advanced. Only Region T had 2 lower seeds advancing. The selection committee and the voters were definitely vibing in Round 1. Will that continue in the Round of 32? That’s for YOU to decide.

Region V
1 Chris Gasper vs 8 Jerry Thornton
A man who enjoys cosplaying as a Marine won’t defeat a man who enjoys cosplaying as a sailor. Gasper will be absolutely cock-a-hoop tonight.

4 Adam Jones vs 5 Chris Curtis
WEEI has buried Jonesy at middays so he can play out his contract in obscurity. Meanwhile Chris Curtis, formerly only famous for numerous Human Resource violations, was busy roasting Coach Mayo every Monday morning. Curtis send Jones packing too.

3 Albert Breer vs 6 James Stewart
My sources are blowing up my phone, telling me that the Senior Fake Insider will be too much for the Wannabee Fake Insider to overcome.

2 Andrew Callahan vs 7 Bob Ryan
Soyjack should send Jurassic Bob floating out to sea on an iceberg

Region N
1 Gabby Starr vs 8 Chad Finn
The pretend Red Sox beat reporter could be on yet another vacation and she’d still easily out poll the pretend media critic.

4 Mike Giardi vs 5 Nick “Fitzy” Stevens
The Greek fake Irishman upsets the mopey Italian

3 Fred Toucher vs 6 Nick Cattles
Cattles tramples the Zoo Keeper and gets revenge for all the underemployed bald deniers in sportz (a very niche group)

2 Michael Felger vs 7 Karen Guregian
Historically Felger doesn’t under perform until the Final Four. Karen gets Guregian’d.

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.