ime not impressed

Sports are like life. One minute you’re waving the ball fair in the bottom of the ninth to beat the Reds like the O.G. Carlton Fisk, and the next your ex is posting engagement party pictures with your sorority sister on the gram and your bff is liking the pic wuuuuuuuuuuuttt.

Just when I thought the Celts were going to wave the ball right around Pesky’s pole on the monster, they airball a foul throw. Nobody, not Beyonce or Meg the Stallion or Meryl Streep or Michael B. Jordan or Michael A. Jordan can tell me that this dude Ime Udoka is a better coach than Kara Lawson.

Didn’t the Seventy-Sixers just get eliminated? Boy bye.

I thought Brad was going to do the right thing. I really did. Like, remember when you first heard Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo and you cried and ate Nutella and drove to your besties’ house to spill tea and watch Pierce Brosnan movies? Remember that emotion? That’s real. If I’m being really real here, like really, really, real, I have to say that this is another example of Boston’s reputation as a sexist town being confirmed.

Boston fans want to rant and rave about how the stereotypes are wrong, and that beantown is a bastion of inclusiveness and progressive thought. They get aggressive and defensive about it, but facts are facts. From the school bus issues in the 70’s to Carol and Charlie Stuart and so on: It’s a hard truth: Boston is a sexist city.

Ime not smiling. (Photo by Kathryn Riley/Getty Images)

So where do we go from here? I mean, the Cees could draft Mississippi center Shakira Austin (like they should). The Red Sox could hire Jennie Finch as pitching coach. The Patriots could hire Sarah Fuller as kicking helper. The Bruins could hire Nancy Kerrigan as skating coach.

All examples off the top of my head. Will it happen? Well, in Olivia Rodrigo’s words:

I got my driver’s license last week
Just like we always talked about
‘Cause you were so excited for me
To finally drive up to your house

I hope Brad is listening. I hope Boston is listening.

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