02/11/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

At least they all went to good homes this year. Wait, What?

After the first three, why shouldn’t the last COVID Fake Season Championship winner also be a kick in the balls to Boston sports fans?

It took Jose Canseco for “stoolies” to realize they’re being grifted.

Nothing better happen to Terez Perez.

Don’t worry Red Sox Twitter personalities, there’s another mediocre white guy you can pretend to love right around the corner.

If you can’t win during regular play, winning in overtime isn’t bad, Bruins.

Big Sey should be in. Anti-Patriots bias is real.

CLNS could not have performed any due diligence. At all.

At least we know that everyone who is saying Bill Russell > Tom Brady is making an argument in good faith.

I need an update to the Real Housewives Of South Boston. Need to know what happened to Marky Mark’s cuzzin.

Cakes are cooking for Sheryl Crow, Eric Vanderaerden, Ken Shamrock, and Linda Wild.

With this Benintendi trade, the seasonal depression clocks are gonna be working overtime. Charge your batteries!

Remind me to never ask Mitt Romney for directions.

I never saw Tom Brady under the influence before! Well, unless you count the duck boat parades, the ring ceremonies, the Mayweather fights, and a few Kentucky Derby’s. Otherwise, nothing.

Isn’t the Fantasy Football Hall of Fame a better destination for Calvin Johnson.

Celtics about to make a big move?

Went to Jiffy Lube for an oil change, and that’s all they did. They didn’t show me a dusty air filter, say my fan belts are worn, or suggest any other service. I feel like George Costanza not getting the recruiting pitch by Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.

So Aaron Rodgers is engaged? Well congratulations to him and to Liza!

As well as Patrick Mahomes ran at times, it was clear his injury was significant. He was not 100%. Kudos to Mahomes and the medical/athletic training staff for getting him ready, but he was very hobbled. Now, he’ll have it fully repaired.

Yes, the hair is definitely the make or break part of the whole look.

We’re giving a $50 gift card to The15 merch store to anyone who sends me a picture or video of Dov Kleiman.

Hey Big Jim, should I wear a scally cap to my own wedding?

So Zoom Meeting Cat Filter Lawyer got Milkshake Ducked? We can’t have nice things.

I know how the Benintendi acolytes feel. I was similarly devastated when they traded Todd Benzinger away.

The next avocado ice cream joke is going to be funny. I can feel it!

You said the quiet part out loud, Tanguay.

Does that Jeep place have a Revs-themed Wrangler parked out front?

Shoes on, get up in the morn’
Cup of milk, let’s rock and roll
King Kong, kick the drum
Rolling on like a Rolling Stone
Sing song when I’m walking home
Jump up to the top, LeBron
Ding-dong, call me on my phone
Ice tea and a game of ping pong

Someone please teach my Lifshatz auditor @stever324 how betting odds work.

Maybe Mel Gibson can put in a good word for Gina Carano, get her cast in Fatman 2: Boxing Day.

Loomer got a wicked short haircut! Compelling radio.

Red Line Braintree Branch Update: Trains are returning to regularly scheduled service.

But Bill Russell did play against pipefitters and heating oil delivery drivers!

Tom threw that Lombardi overboard like it was pregnant with an out-of-wedlock baby.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘Lost in the ether.’

Billy Conigliaro won’t be down to complain about Yaz and Reggie Smith running his brother out of town. I hope Buckley doesn’t have a brother who’s going to crusade about retiring #40.

Has the National Park policeman who arrested Bruce Springsteen for blowing a .02 been reassigned to the Badlands yet?

Ummm… friend

I don’t know how they get away with calling it the ‘Fairness Bowl’ without first giving all the Chiefs players time to get 100% healthy.

Honk if you remember Al Kaprielian.

I don’t want to say Ron Borges is not putting his best effort into convincing his fellow Hall of Fame voters, but how else do I finish this sentence?

Easterby. Owning.

At least hungover Tom is stuck listening to Gisele’s yapping today. Cry.

Be less weird, Peter King.

Schottzie’s teams did wilt in the postseason though.

Duckboats > regular boats.

Hey NFL next year the halftime show at the super bowl..in california..Metallica

Best bet for the weekend: confusion as to which holiday weekend it is.

Double tapir.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, Framingham’s Own Matt Wilson, and #the15 were used in this column.

Tiny Weather Lady. Approve!